Yeah.

I'll tell you something similar.

If I'm...

Like, I used to have a place out on Shelter Island, and I had a pool.

And, uh, it's a big pool, and it, I guess it's still there, so I don't have to say it in the past tense, but it was mine.

It's not mine anymore.

I don't live there anymore.

In your windowless van?

Aha.

"So you have to go." And, uh, so she's sad, but she sort of finds, star- opens up to finding somebody, and she finds a guy.

And the main character, it's a really sad story, but he's really happy-go-lucky.

Like, she's like, when she leaves to go to live with her husband, she says, "I'm so grateful to you for giving me the best childhood anybody e-" And she's crying, and he goes, "Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's cool." Like, the whole movie he's like, "Yeah." And people are like, "Are you sad your daughter's leaving?" And he's like, "Nah, it's o- you know, it makes sense."

Yes

...

he came back, and he was at Caroline's headlining.

Yeah

... and then so I just left.

I said, "Okay, you can have it." And then I got...

I was doing an interview for, like, Entertainment Weekly or somebody, and they said, "How, how, how do you feel?" 'Cause the movie was about to come out.

And I said, "I don't know.

I haven't seen it." And so Paramount caught wind of it, that I said that, and they s- made a gesture and said, "Let's, let us fly you out and show you the cut." And so I went out to LA, and I just sat in a room, in a big screening room, and there's a projectionist with thick glasses.

[laughs]

So Letterm- so J- Jerry's on Letterman, he's sitting on panel, he's telling jokes, and he does that thing.

When you would write for another comedian or for another show, would you do it the same way, or would you think in terms of who's gonna be delivering the material?

Yeah, you think about them, and it's fun that way.

For me, it was kind of a thrill after years 'cause it was a long time of only writing for this one guy, and it was really fun to be like, "What works for Chris Rock?" I wrote for Conan, was the first job I had, and we kinda...

You know, Robert Smigel was the head writer, and we kind of invented a kind of comedy in a way.

It was, like, a new thing.

I mean, not really.

That's probably really grandiose, but, but it was really cool, and Robert and, and Conan were the heads of the show, and they were really encouraging to try different things, and it, it was a wonderful job.

Have you seen any comedians who reinvented themselves after success and really changed what they talked about?

He's holding a stick in his hand.

Yes.

Yeah.

And there is a, there is a news story at the time going on that in parliament there was one party shouting down the other, so it was just like constant yelling, and the other guy's trying to talk.

And, um, it was really wild.

And also seeing the, the war from their point of viewUm, I- India was, India's a country, like you l- uh, when you travel to places like Greece, I find this really interesting and it gives me hope for our future.

When you go to, like Rome, Istanbul, and even Athens, um, these are places that were the top of the world.

That's the one, yes

'Cause it's not a human height.

It's not human, and there's no oxygen up there, and there's no drag on your wings, and it's lonely, and it doesn't have e- e- it, it's not affected by your feelings anymore.

It's just this other thing.

But when I went back to work, and I was like, "I'm doing clubs again.

How's that gonna feel?" And I'm sitting in The Funny Bone in St.

Louis, and the Coke, the machine that sends Coke to the bar is, tsh, is-

(laughs)

And I'm sitting there, and there's the smell of chicken wings and pizza, and I'm doing retail comedy when, you know? I was happy as fuck.

You gotta go in or out.

...

You know what I mean? In or out was the, was the thought.

So I, I didn't do it for, like, a month.

I mean, 'cause everything slowed down for me in th- my whole life.

I was like, "I could take a month and think about this." And I took a month just to think about it.

And then I went, "Let's, let's get into routine." And started doing three or four sets a night, started seeing what is this, what are these jokes, what are they, what's the new feeling?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not qu- there's no quality to it.

There's nothing that's...

And it's not taking me anywhere new.

I mean, all...

The thing is, uh, the problem with comedians is they take everything very personally.

And it's a, it's a scientific thing, kind of, comedy, and it's an art.

Yeah

Right.

... we found a ticket company called Etix who would do exactly what Ticketmaster did for $12 and they charged, uh, like 50 cents.

And they make it white label, which means it looks like it's your company.

And so we, we decided let's just do that, but then we learned that Ticketmaster has large, uh, uh, monopoly on this stuff and that they pay theaters to not use other...

They pay them a premium to not use other companies.

(gasps).

And so, this is...

Like, I got no...

Just give me the- the- the- the skinny of it.

Yeah.

So there's just this boy who's sitting on the porch outside his house and he- there's a, like a- a- a pig sleeping next to him and that's his life.

Like, he's never been to school, his parents have very little, and they're struggling.

And one day, the- his father says, um, "I'm gonna sell the horse," and, uh, uh, you know, tells his mother to- to slop all the animals and- and, you know, to take care of stuff.

And he never comes back.

So him and his mother are kind of, like, starving, so his mother just tells him, "You should go 'cause I can't help you." So he's like nine and he just hits the road, and he's never seen a highway, he's never been anywhere.

Ah.

Right, I'm a corrupt file.

Yeah.

And, um, a corrupt file, yeah.

And, uh, but all of that is like, you can't manage it.

And so when you're in front of the world and that's going on inside of you, it's just, like, real, it's real hell.

And so when it all...

And also when you are, uh, successful, because we live in America, and there's like, you're taught it's a work- working community.

Right.