Long story short,

I...

Had my first kid when I was 21 and it wasn't something that I was really planning for.

We were, me and my husband planned to have our travel years and have some fun before we started the serious responsibility of being parents.

But life happens and we had our daughter really young for me and so it took me through four years now of having to navigate feelings of being the best mom i can be but also trying to work through feeling like i am missing out on a really important period of my life that i was excited about i love self-discovery i love personal growth and identity is one of my biggest core values right so It's something that maybe hit me a little harder than it would an average person.

But for me, it caused me to go through some mental health struggles.

But then my son was born premature and we spent two months in the NICU.

like even just as a mom like imagining myself having my own children it's I imagine it would be very hard to give yourself the grace to have a hard time yes because you could probably just feel a lot of guilt and shame or all these things I'm not being a good mom not showing up and I'm like of course right you feel like it's hard sometimes like it is