Someone who's subjected to any of the abuse that we just discussed, why in our circles is it taking so many attempts to actually leave these scenarios?

It's a great question, and the reason is that there are so many hurdles to leaving, and when to leave, whether to leave really is a complicated question.

So first of all, even though these situations may seem incredibly obvious, it's actually really hard when you're in them to fully understand that, oh, wow, what I'm experiencing isn't normal and isn't abuse.

We can feel really embarrassed about things that happen in our own relationship, so you're not even necessarily talking to so many people about it, and then you're not seeing their reaction of, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe your spouse said that to you.

That's really not okay." You're not necessarily getting those reactions all the time.

So just understanding what you're in really takes time, especially because abuse escalates over time.

So the kinds of examples we're giving that are more intense, those aren't happening in the first few weeks, the first few months.

What happens after?

What are the catalysts that take a divorce from amicable to high-conflict?

It's hard to say if we have more agunots or if we're just hearing about them every time, you know, we go on social media.

What we do know, though, is that there is a great study that looks at divorce in the Frum community and found that while our divorce rate is low, our high-conflict divorce rate is 59%.

So that means more often than not, when we get divorced, we kill each other.

And I think there's a few pieces we lose along the way, and I think people like Yonah and Sarah can be incredibly effective agents at getting us back.

And thing number one is we lose the big picture.

I get so caught up in the frustration and the anger and the emotions of the moment, which is totally understandable and completely real, but I can forget, you know, is this even something that's gonna matter in a year or in five years? And the more that the people around the couple can help us get back to the big picture, I think the better off we are.

Keshet, how do you kind of conceptualize in your own mind the very public-facing component to these high-conflict divorces?

What are the catalysts that take a divorce from amicable to high-conflict?

It's hard to say if we have more Agunot or if we're just hearing about them every time, you know, we go on social media.

What we do know, though, is that there is a great study that looks at divorce in the Frum community and found that while our divorce rate is low, our high-conflict divorce rate is 59%.

So that means more often than not, when we get divorced, we kill each other.

And I think there's a few pieces we lose along the way, and I think people like Yonah and Sarah can be incredibly effective agents at getting us back.

And thing number one is we lose the big picture.

I get so caught up in the frustration and the anger and the emotions of the moment, which is totally understandable and completely real, but I can forget, you know, is this even something that's gonna matter in a year or in five years? And the more that the people around the couple can help us get back to the big picture, I think the better off we are.

Keshet, how do you kind of conceptualize in your own mind the very public-facing component to these high-conflict divorces?