I think that's super interesting because many times when I chat with people, they feel like they needed to perform in order to do better than their parents because their parents were not necessarily high achieving.

Right.

Yeah.

I haven't, it's an interesting dynamic and it's all in my book.

You know, part of the premise to my book is really like, you don't show up to parenting empty handed, right? Like you come, you arrive with stuff, you know, some of it good and some of it bad.

And I do write a lot about my family because, you know, I didn't grow up with money, but I grew up with a tremendous amount of love and affection.

But the lack of funds, the lack of money really created grit and resilience, right? Because like, And also the culture and the time, you know, parenting was different.

See, mom's on to something.

You talked a little bit, you mentioned for a moment, you teased for us like how that shaped the kind of mother you You've, you've maybe become in some way, but how, how did it shape the kind of mother you thought you needed to become?

Yeah.

So I grew up, we had no money, but my parents have been together since they were 17.

I have three brothers, like, like a super loving, amazing childhood really.

The m- no money thing, like, wasn't a big deal to me.

Like, we were on government program.

I was on the free lunch line, stuff like that, and, like, I really didn't take that in that much.

Like what's your, what's your sense of that?

Okay.

So it's important to get a little of the backstory.

So I did mention that my first husband died of a drug overdose.

I was a single mom and I met my current husband.

And so I think that's important because when you are getting married as a single mom, it is like such a big deal because your kids, in my case, because their father died, they were getting a dad.

So like this day was a really, really big deal.

At the time we were not financially, things weren't great.

So what happened next?