they're

grieving and it's really my job to to label that like you know you're labeling what you imagine the relationship to be you know you're you know grieving um limitations you know yeah i mean there's just or opportunities you know like there there's there's grief that touches the couple all together And the reason why I say that is because, you know, there is an essence, something that has been lost.

You now know that your husband has not been faithful or upheld marital vows.

And not only that, there's this piece of identity around sexuality that you maybe had an inkling of knowing but never actually thought about it or actually didn't know about it altogether.

And now you know something about this other person that feels as if it could make or break their relationship.

I mean, the terror that comes up from that, the panic, all of those things, it's just like, again, crisis management at that first stage of not making any kind of critical decisions based off of these behaviors.

Now, again, every couple's in a different scenario.

Yeah.