What's the most common piece of relationship advice you think actually keeps people stuck? And when couples come to you arguing about one thing, what might they really be trying to communicate underneath the argument?

It's a beautiful question.

I would say the worst relationship advice that any of us could follow would be to better express our needs.

that term needs everyone on planet Earth should eradicate from their lexicon as it pertains to their relationship.

And you asked what it communicates.

When I hear someone start talking, whether it's on Instagram, TikTok, whether it's my clients, the minute someone starts talking about their needs not being met, I instantly know what they're communicating is that they themselves have a scarcity mindset.

They have a scarcity mindset because I've got a 14-year-old and a 10-year-old, and my kids don't speak in terms of needs.

What are some concrete actions couples can take to begin moving the relationship in a forward direction?

I don't really know how you got into, well, first becoming a therapist, but also like really focusing on couples.

That's a really great question.

My journey into couples therapy is purely out of self-preservation.

I had an extremely traumatic childhood.

I talk about this quite a lot on my Instagram, sometimes on YouTube.

When you witness your parents both divorced twice and there was the physical violence, the emotional violence, it was all there.

I was even kidnapped by my dad when I was eight, held for three months, couldn't see my mom.

I'd love to hear yours.