Where did that come from?

It's so bananas.

I mean, let's start with the obvious.

Yes, there are a lot of women at the gym dressed like they get paid in singles.

OK, that's a real thing.

That is the reality of gym attire these days.

But the jokes were about him, how he was in the background on a lot of these Zoom videos and he looks like a loser.

Why is that? You never see any hot women protesting Trump.

Yeah.

Or, oh, I don't know, all of these m- uh, rapists and dirtbags that ICE is trying to deport that, you know, Democrats wanna keep in the country.

Maybe if you're looking out for women, you talk about that.

But when you're going after a comedian, uh, you're telling me you're doing okay, okay? Because it's comedy.

There's no world, okay, in the '80s or '90s where the person who got offended by things was taken seriously.

We just kind of ignored them and moved on.

That's what we should be doing here.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Not good.

[laughs] It's just a list of people who might be in trouble this week.

I don't know.

I...

You know, I don't know what to do with Hillary, okay? I'll tell you something about her.

You know, she is obviously dealing with an incurable case of presidentitis.

[laughs]

Yeah.

Jesse and Sandra have, like, meticulous...

It looks like someone was coming through with a drill sergeant's whistle, and, uh...

Well, Jesse was, 'cause he pays a guy to do that.

... into a cul-de-sac.

[laughs] The, it, it really takes me back 'cause we had that.

We had, ours was mean old Aunt Fran.

It was, like, my mom had an aunt, and they were like, "If you don't finish your dinner, mean old Aunt Fran's gonna beat the [beep] out of you." [laughs] And I was like, "Whoa."

I had no idea I was going to get in.

But he did give me a nice shout out before the press conference began.

It was cool.

We spoke afterwards.

But the point is, is I sat there and watched the energy, the open hostility between the questioner, who's actually there on behalf of the viewer, who's trying to get some insight into what's happening, but they're being told what's happening before the president can open its mouth.

You know, and as I watched that, it was really interesting because he fields every question, kind of holds court the way he does.

By the way, he's not sleeping.

They have opium dens?

[laughs]

And his wife ...

Yeah, for real.

His wife is the head writer on that show, as crazy as that sounds to people.

And you're, what you're really getting through him is, like, he's kind of the messenger for her, 'cause he wasn't really a comic to begin with, so he's always had writers kind of steering him in a direction.

But now he has a head writer who is one of those women that would be out there cheering for Hamas even though Hamas doesn't recognize her right to exist freely in society.

He always does.

No, it's, it's so baked into the cake at this point that Trump is a New Yorker, okay? People talk out of their butts around here.

[laughs]

And his wife...

Yeah, for real.

His wife is the head writer on that show, as crazy as that sounds to people, and you're, what you're really getting through him is, like, he's kind of the messenger for her, 'cause he wasn't really a comic to begin with, so he's always had writers kind of steering him in a direction.

But now he has a head writer who is one of those women that would be out there cheering for Hamas, even though Hamas doesn't recognize her right to exist freely in society.

He always does.

No, it's, it's so baked into the cake at this point that Trump is a New Yorker, okay? People talk out of their butts around here.

We exaggerate.

[laughs]

And his wife...

For real.

His wife is the head writer on that show, as crazy as that sounds to people.

And you're, what you're really getting through him is, like, he's kind of the messenger for her, 'cause he wasn't really a comic to begin with, so he's always had writers kind of steering him in a direction.

But now he has a head writer who is one of those women that would be out there cheering for Hamas, even though Hamas doesn't recognize her right to exist freely in society.

He always does.

No, it's, it's so baked into the cake at this point that Trump is a New Yorker, okay? People talk out of their butts around here.

Mm

... between Israel and Hamas.

It's something Bill Clinton talked about a lot.

I play his clips on my show a lot.

He explained how, you know, Hamas is smart in the sense that they want civilian casualties because it makes their side seem sympathetic and kind of erases the context of how this became a thing.

You understand? October 7th happened, as you know, and your listeners know, in the middle of a ceasefire, okay? And they paraglided in and killed civilians.

The Israeli response to that, they argue, is a genocide, but a genocide, uh, is not generally a response.

Yeah

But are you a Swifty fan?

I mean, I look like I'm on the no-fly list at her concerts.

Like there's a picture of me, and security's like, if you see this guy buying a pair of floor seats, you can't let him in.

I can abide Taylor Swift.

I wouldn't put myself in the fan category in that I know probably 50 songs, but I haven't downloaded one of them.

Does that make sense? Since they're on the radio, I hear it.

It's a vibe.

Right.

All right, so what are you telling people at your shows when they go, Jimmy, bottom line it for me, are the Republicans going to hold on to the House and Senate? What do you tell them?

No, I say the Democrats are probably going to win the House and turn it into a migrant shelter so they don't have to worry about legislation.

I'm like, they can't resist.

Anytime you give them a free space, tents, cots, here they go.

Listen, polling always underestimates the Republicans.

We know that to be a thing, but I don't know that it underestimates them by this many points.

I mean, there's one thing to be off five points.

Yeah.

[laughs]

You know? And that's...

And, and it's, it's the God's honest truth.

I...

Believe me, I know a lot of miserable TV people, and I know a lot of really happy cab drivers.

'Cause a woman once told me in my taxi that your attitude defines your experience.

So if you're a person who has a good attitude, you usually have a pretty good life, no matter what the circumstances look like.

So, h- uh, you must be, uh, really happy about the Yankees last night.

[laughs]

You know? And that's...

And, and it's, it's the God's honest truth.

I...

Believe me, I know a lot of miserable TV people, and I know a lot of really happy cab drivers, 'cause a woman once told me in my taxi that your attitude defines your experience.

So if you're a person who has a good attitude, you usually have a pretty good life, no matter what the circumstances look like.

But if you're one of those miserable people by default, okay, that's pretty much gonna be the driving force behind every day.

So, hey, uh, you must be, uh, really happy about the Yankees last night.

They're hard

working.

No.

Listen, Jenny Phelan's family, my wife's family, is from Wapakoneta, Ohio.

You know, everyone always asks, how'd you get a wife so pretty? She grew up on a farm.

She has no idea what her street value is.

You know what I'm saying? She didn't know how much better she could do.

How exactly does that work? You

Let me explain this

to you.

So Saturday afternoon, it was a 1 o'clock football game.

At 7 o'clock, we were still in the parking lot.

We were the only car in the parking lot.

Just the three of us were sitting in a circle listening to music.

Lincoln and Jenny drank 25 of a possible 30 Miller Lights in a 30-pack.

by flying and driving over to arrivals.

A nightmare.

Yeah.

Most veteran most veteran cabbies actually don't work this week.

If you notice a lot of younger guys who haven't, you know, gotten that little baptism by fire, if you will, you figure it out.

Everybody works the U.N. week once.

Nobody I know works it twice.

You know, again, except the escorts.

He's going to tell everybody off, isn't he?

[laughs]

Um, you know, again, except the escorts.

But the point is, all of these UN coalitions that were all formed in a post-World War II world where we were helping rebuild everybody and we were picking up the tab for everything going on in Europe, have kinda just run their course now.

And the only real value in UN week for Americans is to watch sho- Trump show up, do his little, you know, Don Rickles act.

Why, how do you do that?

Yes.

Well, if you're a speaker, okay, whether you're a comic, whether you're giving a speech, you know, some type of an event, banquet, whatever the case may be, you are, in theory, the only guy with a microphone.

So what you need to demonstrate more than anything is that you're in charge and you have a plan for where to go.

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Well, how do you do that?

Yes.

I'm a

multi-tool player, Jim.

Today marks the three-year anniversary of me famously getting driven home from here in one of these TV-provided car services you speak of in which I had to take over the drive for my driver.

because he was so overwhelmed by the street closures on the east side that the dispatch company sent me a text saying, hey, are you okay? You're not on your correct route.

So I showed it to the guy.

I was like, my man, I have a taxi license, and I know Queens really well.

Get

And he was like, release the unedited video and release it now.

Yeah.

And it never works anywhere.

Like, the guy who wr- who did it at the Yankee game got booed.

Have you ever seen the guy who interrupts the, who interrupts the Seinfeld show? And Seinfeld goes, "Why here?" He goes, "Tell whoever your bosses are it's not working.

You just gave a Jew more money."

Yes.

Because this, there is a response in a war, but the truth is Israel is quite commonly taking civilians out of Gaza and treating them, preemptively warning them there's gonna be a strike.

I believe it was Bill Clinton who actually said Hamas is smart and it creating a moral equivalence between them and Israel because they try to get their civilians killed.

Who wants to watch such an angry guy on television? And the whole show,

okay, because his wife is his head writer.

Really? And his wife, yes, his wife writes a show.

She's the head writer for his show.

And that's why he, but that tells you everything.

You see, he was obviously the guy on the man show who was doing a lot of crass, misogynistic stuff.

Also wearing blackface quite a bit, I might add.

I do not listen, man.

Really?

And his wife, yes, his wife writes a show.

She's the head writer for his show.

And that's why he, but that tells you everything.

You see, he was obviously the guy on the man show who was doing a lot of crass, misogynistic stuff.

Also wearing blackface quite a bit, I might add.

For a guy who likes to call Trump a racist, I gotta be honest, blackface, a little aggressive.

So since when are you a Mr. Outdoorsman out there in Jackson Hole?

really

and his wife yes his wife writes a show um she's the head writer for his show and that's why he that but that tells you everything you see he was obviously the guy on the man show yeah who was doing a lot of crass misogynistic stuff also wearing blackface quite a bit uh yeah i might add you know for a guy who likes to call trump a racist i gotta be honest uh blackface little aggressive um I've gotten some odd makeup jobs before my show over the years, but nobody ever confused me with Karl Malone on set.

But that's another story.

But the point is, his wife kind of hijacked his sensibilities in a lot of ways and turned him into like another late night woke activist, like a Colbert.

and one of the reasons he goes along with that is he is paying, like, a protection racket to the outrage mob.

I mean, you think about this.

If Jimmy Kimmel is a Republican and he had a 10-year history of wearing blackface on TV, his show would have been canceled 10 years ago.

I do not listen, man.

thought you were tipping the congressman because of his little white coat.

No, you can't tip him.

He's in Congress.

We'd be taking a perp walk out of here.

But it was great.

And she looked gorgeous.

And everybody did.

And I wonder if it's not going to be as exciting going out like, ooh.

dwindled here.

Like it's dawned on her that nobody cares because the only way Harry's ever going to wear the crown is if he has a birthday party at Burger King.

OK, there's no relevance attached to him by whining.

So what they should have done for real.

Do you know we have all these really famous Instagram influencers who do nothing, but they're always showing you their cars and their jets.

Like, Harry and Meghan, in theory, are the best version of that because neither of them do nothing.

They've been bequeathed, you know, hundreds of millions of dollars from, you know, his royal status.

So is Ossoff going to listen or is he going to keep going with these tirades?