Is it true that content couples really don't cheat?

I don't know that I'm qualified to answer that except to say that most of the couples that I meet, it's because their marriage has catastrophically failed.

So I don't know that I'm the right sample to answer that for you.

What I will say is, having been part of the Brazilian jiu-jitsu community for many years, I've spent a lot of time in Brazil.

And in Brazil, prostitution is legal.

It's restricted, but it's legal.

So there are what's called termas, which means spa, basically.

But

When I was looking for a lawyer, it was, okay, who actually is known to settle? Who's not self-interested in the money? How does one figure that out when they're hiring an attorney?

yeah i mean gosh there's a lot there to unpack so what i'll say to you is as a trial lawyer who has a reputation as being a very effective sort of weapon in a courtroom what i will tell you is it makes a lot of sense when you're a client and a consumer who's in need of the work that divorce lawyers do to think that the right way to approach it is to hire someone who has a reputation as being settlement-minded and more of a non-aggressive attorney.

Unfortunately, in my experience, that often results in people ending up more in litigation than not.

I think it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.

It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.

And a trial lawyer is a weapon.

What you said is absolutely accurate, which is you should never do something with a chainsaw that you could do with a scalpel.

as an example.

So with all of that being said, if, if somebody doesn't know a whole lot about family law, and just, you know, talking to the average person who is maybe thinking about getting married or already is married or maybe is in a struggling marriage, what are some of the biggest mistakes you see people make, whether it's financial or just causing a lot of unnecessary stress and hassle in their lives as maybe they need to navigate a breakup?

Yeah.

I mean, you, you named a couple of very different cohorts there that I think all have different situations.

So if someone...

I'll, I'll take them in the order that you said.

So, you know, if someone is not yet married and they're thinking about getting married, of course that, that is the best opportunity to educate yourself.

You know, most people, by...

What are some red flags to watch out for if you are dating someone? Is there anything in particular that kind of stands out maybe related to finances, either, uh, not being transparent enough about finances or just not even wanting to have that prenup conversation? Anything there that people should say, "Wait a minute, let's rethink this."