Yeah.

With Old, Rock of Ages and all those hits.

And people were leaving.

Like, he was, as soon as Def Leppard was done, 'cause they were on the rise.

They were, they were, b- he was blowing them off the stage, and people were like, "We're not gonna go see that after that video."

[laughs]

And Don Jamieson was up there, and he just said some, like, joke about, like, him being pussy-whipped or something like that.

And then Sebastian had a cup of coffee, and from, like, the all the way in the far left of the dais, whipped it and hit Don right, hit right in the face.

Okay.

And I was doing five minute sets in between each band, like five minutes before Anthrax, five before Megadeth, five.

Before Slayer.

And, you know, most of the crowd knew me from the metal show was on at that point.

So I had an advantage for like the first couple of minutes that they give me a, you know, a break.

And when I went out, when Anthrax were on, the venue was like a third full and they were great.

Megadeth was okay.

for a for a while but it seems like it's back do you do you feel that

Okay.

And I was doing five minute sets in between each band, like five minutes before Anthrax, five before Megadeth, five.

Before Slayer.

And, you know, most of the crowd knew me from the metal show was on at that point.

So I had an advantage for like the first couple of minutes that they give me a, you know, a break.

And when I went out, when Anthrax were on, the venue was like a third full and they were great.

Megadeth was okay.

for a for a while but it seems like it's back do you do you feel that

[coughs]

... it's like I've done it a few times, but I remember this guy, like, that was on American Idol or something like that.

Maybe his dad, the guy, was really famous.

He, he got busted in a massage parlor getting jerked off, and he, he was all, all over the news, on TMZ.

He's like, "I had a bad back.

I went in there for a massage." And nobody believed it.

Oh, yeah.

And it was, like, a video store with peep shows.

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU?

I'M JUST CURIOUS, WHAT DO YOU THINK I WOULD DO?

IF YOU EVER SPEAK A WORD TO THIS, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.

THEN I PUT IT IN REVERSE AND I'D DRIVE OFF.

OR I COULD JUST SAY PAY FOR THE MOVIES OR I'M GOING TO DRIVE OFF THE CLIFF.

I REGRET MY ANALOGY.

HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING THIS AT ALL? YEAH, LOOK, FIRST OF ALL, THE KEY WORD IS COULD CAUSE UP TO A BILLION DEBTS.

THAT'S LIKE THE GEICO INSURANCE COMMERCIALS.

Okay.

And I was doing five-minute sets in between each band, like five minutes before Anthrax, five before Megadeth, five... before Slayer.

And, you know, most of the crowd knew me from the metal show was on at that point.

So I had an advantage for like the first couple of minutes that they give me a, you know, a break.

And when I went out, when Anthrax were on, the venue was like a third full and they were great.

Megadeth was okay.

By the time Slayer came on, like they didn't want nothing to do with me.

for a for a while but it seems like it's back do you do you feel that

Mm-hmm.

So I opened on, I did comedy on two of them I was opening.

And we were in like Oklahoma City, and all the o- the, the bands went up except for Megadeth.

All of a sudden the lightning storm came out and the power went out.

So everyone's just waiting and waiting, it's raining, and no one's leaving.

And after a half hour they go, "Hey, the show's canceled.

Megadeth's on the bus right now.

Mm-hmm.

Open

up the pit, bitch, I'm coming through.

Big J, the battle rap champ, all up in your ass with the strap.

Red attack, tech, when it's easy in the building, you better believe.

Never forget, Al Qaeda ain't got nothing on Steve.

Puerto Rican rattlesnake, venom in your veins.

Natural born killers, Legion escapes.

I know.

So how do you, do you have 20 or 30 of them ready to go and you'd cut them down to 10? How's it work?

Yeah, we had, I think, 21 or 20, and we cut it down to 14.

And did you argue over it? We send them around to a bunch of friends that are totally into this stuff, and we tell them, give us a rating, a real rating.

Don't, you know, kiss our ass on a scale of 1 to 10.

We're not going to get offended if you give it a 2, and we kind of judge it back, because you never know.

Like, you might think it's great, and they're going, it's like, eh, it's not that good.

Jim, do you still come across people that were drugged to the show by their husband or something like that that don't like your crap, your stuff?

A lot of guys won't bring their wives because they said, my wife doesn't like your style of comedy.

Well, I wish everyone got that.

You know, and if you know going in as a comic, everyone's not going to like your stuff.

It doesn't matter if you're Jerry Seinfeld.

You know, clean, middle of the road, doesn't offend anyone.

Everyone's not going to like your stuff.

So you just focus on the people that do like it.

And don't worry about the other 60, 70, 80 percent that don't.

Yeah.

Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosure.

I tell my son, like, you know, because I got him half the week.

My ex does.

I said, don't be gay.

Well, I already told him that.

He's at his girlfriend's tonight, which I'm excited.

I go, this is the calm house.

Fucking nothing annoys me when a fucking dad goes, my kid doesn't do anything bad

Sponsored by Chumpa Casino.

I just did it the other night.

I went to see this band Blackberry Smoke and I was with my son and we're like, you know, good seats like the middle.

It's this theater or whatever.

And someone decided to like they must have snuck in these beach balls and they blew them up and they started fucking throwing beach balls and everyone's hitting them.

Meanwhile, the band's playing like their big hits and these guys are fucking turned around as the big hits on what we the ball and they're hitting it back and forth it got me so fucking mad i'm like i wish i had a knife i could just fucking stab everyone one ball actually hit off the top of my head i didn't even acknowledge it and i was like you know what this crowd deserves to get gassed out because i had bad gas all day and i just fucking was ripping them the rest of the show i didn't deserve it for fucking playing volleyball hitting a fucking beach ball what a bands on i hate that Grow the fuck up.

You're in a concert.

And something disturbed me about that whole story is you had a stomach problem that was giving you this amazing gas and you fixed it.

yeah.

I was doing comedy like two years, and Pauly Shore maybe saw me in a comedy club.

I can't remember how it happened.

And he was doing like spring break down in like the beach.

Yeah, they always had him doing shit.

So he wanted me to come down and do a sketch with him.

So I was like, yeah, fucking A.

right between it's a great shot yeah

VHS, yeah.

I was doing comedy like two years, and Pauly Shore maybe saw me in a comedy club.

I can't remember how it happened.

And he was doing like spring break down in like the beach.

Yeah, they always had him doing shit.

So he wanted me to come down and do a sketch with him.

So I was like, yeah, fucking A.

huge right between it's a great shot yeah

Did you talk to Ozzy there or no?

We saw him briefly after the show.

Sharon was backstage saying, hey, there's going to be a VIP thing.

I want you guys to go.

Ozzy's coming.

We're like, there's no way he's going to go after.

He just did two sets.

How'd you find it, on Google?

Did you bring a check?

Yep.

I remember reading the New York Post and I saw like in the movie section, the goriest fright film of all time in quotes.

I go, I got to go see this.

And it was playing at some little theater in the city.

And I took my girlfriend at the time.

We were only dating a few months.

film.

Did you bring a check?

Yep.

I remember reading the New York Post, and I saw, like, in the movie section, "The goriest fright film of all time," in quotes.

I go, "I gotta go see this." And, um, it was playing at some little theater in the city, and I took my girlfriend at the time.

We were only dating a few months.

Within probably 12 minutes, she's like, "I'm leaving."

Yeah.

And there was a scene where the guy, I, I can't remember correctly, but he kills, like, his whole family, and he goes into the bedroom and there's a baby in the crib, and he's just sitting up in the crib, and he basically, he's gonna kill the baby, too, and that's when he walked out.

Yeah

... went on Opie and Anthony, and it was a huge rival.

You could only do one or the other shows.

You couldn't do both.

So I chose Stern.

Stern took a liking to me, so I just went that route, and I went on there for about 10 years.

So I missed the, the real, the glory days of all when they...

I'm sure he made more than $3 million.

Yeah.

And so I got a whole routine about it now 'cause I just really focus on that.

That's not how I, exactly how I write for my comedy for the stage.

But just from that idea.

There was something else, uh, I, I forget, the show before that I'm doing a bit on stage about it now, which is great.

But, you know, I always look like if I, a performer at The Stand in New York City, they're all, like, 22 to 30-year-old kids.

They have no idea who I am.

Yeah, or, yeah

Man, yeah, it's got, it's gotta be a blast.

My buddy, I just saw him.

I was down in Fort Lauderdale, and my friend's in a cover band.

They just played some little bar in Fort Lauderdale, got 1,200 that night, plus they have a tip jar.

There's four guys in the band.

He's like, "Yeah, it's just on the weekends.

We have fun.

[laughs]

Legendary.

My brother was there like a year before in London.

He's like, hey, you should go visit.

Here's the address.

So me and Jim Norton had a day off from doing shows.

And we took an Uber like two and a half hours outside of London in the middle of nowhere and found this place.

And then we wound up sneaking in because there's a gate on the side.

Just like New Year's Eve shows in general because that's a drunk crowd usually? Yeah,

I mean, you grew up with fucking seven people in your house, yelling and screaming Italians, but tell us the wrestling story for the fucking record.

My dad would take us to Madison Square Garden for a wrestling match, and Bruno Sammartino was the champ at the time, and they had him make a...

He was the champ for, like, 12 years because all the Italians in New York loved him, and they couldn't change belts because he'd fill the Gar- he'd pack the Garden every, every, every month, 20,000 people.

All the Italians from New York would go see him.

So Vince McMahon Sr. said, "Listen, man, we can't...

You can't give up the belt," you know, 'cause Bruno wanted to retire.

He's like, "We're not gonna sell out the Garden." So my dad was one of those Italian guys, I was 12, 13, 14, taking me to Madison Square Garden.

[laughs]