It's heartbreaking.

Yes.

Yes.

But so this is the good part.

So what happened was after being in a relationship for about four years, three years, three or four years, I was watching Lifetime.

a lifetime movie, and it was called The Blue-Eyed Butcher.

And it was about this woman named Susan Wright.

And, and especially since your mom was dealing already in the occult and new age practices, what, what's going on now?

I'm like dukes up like I'm like let's go like right now let's go let's go to the backyard or let's go to the schoolyard and like let's like do it right right now and I I'm not proud of myself in that moment so I think for me the practice is on the fly sage moments which I think is like next level like Jedi like my work right there what do you think about that

yeah no I hear you um the conversations where that happens for me the most is when my perfectionist saboteur is really yapping the loudest.

And I think it's because I personally have a bit of trauma around not wanting to look stupid or sound stupid.

And if I get an inkling that someone, you know, based on a conversation that someone may think I don't know what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's go.

So tell us a little bit more about it.