[laughs]

I have dreams about killing people.

And, and so in the past, what I'd do is I'd wake up in the morning and I'd obsess about the dream.

Well, if I'm dreaming about it, surely that's evidence, that means something.

So every now and then, the dream will pop back and I'll wake up, and in that kind of morning fogginess of waking up, I'll be kind of back in the, "What does that dream mean?" And then I remind myself, gotta leave dreams alone.

Mm

... that are graphic and kind of horror films, and I always come up with Silence of the Lambs as the example.

The, the chap who created the screenplay for that, I mean, his name's gone out of my head, we gave him an Oscar.

that.

I'll often say to people, I don't know.

What would you be doing if you weren't in your head ruminating about... what if my husband's plane crashes tonight? What would I be doing? I'd probably be doing life.

And then we want to think about, well, what's the next practical thing you need to do in your day? So if I'm ruminating about, oh my gosh, what if this plane crashes? How awful that's going to be? What that means for my life? And what's it going to be when my husband doesn't return from America? Blah, blah, blah.

i need to interrupt that process i need to spot that i'm doing it so the first step with mental compulsions as with any compulsions is awareness i am ruminating i'm doing it it's not helpful it's not productive it's not getting me where i want to be of my day and we want to interrupt that process what is the next practical thing i need to do in my day maybe it's i need to go make i need to make a cup of tea in my case it would be i'm going to go make a cup of tea i'm going to send that email i'm going to hang the washing up i'm going to feed the cat i'm going to go and do something so especially with rumination there's a big focus on interrupting the process now The course also talks a lot about...

And we dive into loads of detail around...

Because a really common question there is, well, I've interrupted the process, Jess, and the thought's straight back in my head again.

okay in general and like you can cope with stuff.

What if I'm really that person?" What are they typically trying to do before they go to therapy and learn another way?

Yeah.

Well, kind of understandably initially, people start to get rid of these thoughts.

They start to try and figure them out.

They start to reassure themselves of, you know, "If I had a thought land in my head about harming my child, or I'm, or acting inappropriately with my child, I'm gonna reassure myself that I would absolutely never do that.

Yeah, of course I'm not that person." They might start to take avoidance actions, so, "Let's make sure I'm never alone with the child."

Mm.

So we've got two options on the table.