So what happens neurologically or behaviorally when teams are under this kind of prolonged stress? What's going on? What's happening to them? And then how should that influence the way we design learning or leadership development inside of our organizations? Can you kind of walk us through what does pressure do to a person? And then what's the thing that we should consider?

Yeah, and so I'm a geek of neuroscience.

I love understanding the brain and how the brain works.

And so when we are feeling threatened, what happens is the amygdala in our brains, we have two of those, and the amygdala will activate the rush of cortisol, which is a stress hormone, into our bodies, and then that leads us into the fight-flight-freeze response.

And when we are in that type of state, then our sympathetic nervous system is really taking over, and we're dealing with anxiety, distress, which can be harmful to our physical bodies and our emotional state overall.

Now, what's interesting is that that's happening even if it's not a real threat, if it's a perceived threat, if it's a story that we're telling ourselves.

Another way of saying that is if a bear were to rush into your room right now and you see the bear, the same reaction that's happening in your brain and the cortisol is the same that could come when you receive a perceived threatening email.

But are there other things they can do to kind of help create clarity around what's happening and then to lead in these moments?

But for anybody that's interested in walking away from the corporate world, what has your entrepreneurial journey been like?

Well, it has been a roller coaster for sure.

I just had a conversation with a friend who he and I worked at Tesla and we were talking through this and I told him that I'm seven plus years in now.

So it's been a long time as an entrepreneur.

And I said to him, you know, it's still one.

It could be amazing months and then tough months.

It could be a great quarter where everything is going so well.

Okay.

Mm

... and enjoy the ride.

You know, my daughter was two when my father passed away, and I felt like I wasn't being a great dad.

I wasn't leading by example, and so I wanted to be better for her.

So then I became interested and obsessed with personal development, professional development, leadership because I realized that this is the pathway to making a greater impact while still having some peace in my life, and happiness, and satisfaction.

So I left that finance company and I started working for a company named SolarCity, and SolarCity was the largest renewable energy provider in the United States at the time.

And in that experience, I was me- uh, at first I was in sales, then I got into a, a leadership role, and I was invited to do a few talks because I was figuring a few things out in how to sell and how to explain products to clients and things.

Oh

So I'm excited to hear what are the, I don't know if meditation is going to be in it, but I'm excited to hear what are the things that you recommend and what do you train people to And how do you help them become more adaptable?

As you were sharing, I thought of a talk I just gave.

It was this week.

I was in Orlando and I spoke to a room of HR leaders in the public sector.

And they're really under a lot of pressure right now.

And this is specifically within the state of Florida.

And there's so much government change and they're fearful of their budgets going away and people are afraid of layoffs.

yeah

So I would love to hear your take and what conscious leadership really is.

Yeah.

So I think if I were to kind of contrast what it isn't, it might be helpful.

So if I were to take you back to before I learned about any of this is when I was still working at that finance company.

And let's say, you know, I came up with an idea of how to improve the department business.

And we're in a meeting with my team.

What I'm going to do back then, because I hadn't learned these things, is I'm sharing this idea and I want everyone to agree with it because I want to be the one that gets the credit.

Let's have you walk us through it, starting with the recharge and what it actually looks like.

So what early experiences taught you the most about entrepreneurship?

Well, I'd say working at Tesla really taught me a lot 'cause it is a place where there is so much change, and it's so... happening so fast, Brian.

I mean, you know, I had to learn how to pivot.

I mean, here's, here's an example.

Like, we would work months on this one way in which we're gonna educate over 1,000 employees at Tesla, and we would create this kind of online learning program, and it was gonna be including these kinds of pillars of learning, and we'd spent months working on it.

We'd have it all ready.

I mean, we'd stay up late working on these things.

How did you land that talk? How has that helped your business?

So what's the difference between unshakable resilience and suffering in silence? What's the difference there?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think there's, there's three things specifically.

When we are suffering in silence, it's because of the fact that, one, we feel unsafe.

So that means there is an actual threat or a perceived threat where we're falling into a role of being the victim of our circumstance.

So that's one.

The second is that there is a, an inability to really focus.

Can you give us a sense of one maybe counterintuitive thing that the brain does under chronic stress that most professionals don't even realize is happening to them?

How do you encourage leaders to cultivate self-awareness, first of all? And second of all, how do you convince them that it's important if they're high on ego?

Yeah, I think, well, I'll start with the second question.

The best thing you could gather is feedback that is honest that they have to really take in.

If they get that feedback from their direct reports or partners or whomever.

that they are acting in ways that are harmful and there's actual evidence to it, I think that that oftentimes will open someone up.

I also think if you understand the person's goals and they genuinely want to achieve those, and you explain it well enough, you can very easily connect the dots between, well, your goal is this.

By being a more self-aware leader, you will get there faster.

And

What was that like for you with such a significant pivot?

Yeah, I'd say what was scary was it was scarier for me to keep going down the path I was going.

That was scarier.

And so because of that, I had the motivation to fix how I was eating, how I was showing up every day.

It was enough to get me to wake up early and really do the work, read, study, understand different perspectives, really open my mind up to different ways of living.

I would say, though, that didn't last forever.

I think that was a huge... bit of momentum that kicked me off in this trajectory Dr. Dan and then it was later when I was like okay now I want to do something else that seems to be more unsafe it seemed out of my comfort zone Then I had to step into a bit more of that fear.

You're telling

Mm-hmm.

And so when I say recharge, I- I'm referencing the things that produce energy for you.

So everyone's a bit different.

Usually, it falls into six categories of things that we need to do to recharge.

One, I'm not gonna spend a lot of time on them because I wanna be sure that, uh, people don't think I'm some s- you know, uh, nutritionist or anything like that.

It's not me.

But I do think these six areas are important.

[laughs]

Uh, how do you coach this individual? What's your advice?

What I would start with are questions.

Uh, I would, I would ask, uh, what makes the person think that they need to invest a whole lot of time into it.

I think there's a, a belief that you have to spend hours and hours, and I don't think that's true.

I, I think that there are ways in which one can practice cultivating resilience that don't require a great deal of time.

So I would challenge that belief, would be the first thing I would do.

And then the second thing I may do, it depends of course on the person, is just to share a few stories of what I've seen working with leaders in high pressure situations who told me just that.

Can you walk us through what the three Rs are and why the framework matters?

Hmm

... for example, say to youYou know, I need to get this promotion in order to be happy.

You know, I need this result in order to be happy.

That's the dialogue that goes through our minds.

So I could take you back to an example of where this happened to me.

I remember I was a, a top performer on my team.

This was when I worked in renewable energy, a comp- a company named SolarCity.

Yeah.