Hmm.

And if I feel too much, then I'm not looking out for my daughter, when reality is that the Lord has given me a spouse for, like, that's a part of marriage, is me being able to be open about how I'm feeling and the challenges that I'm facing and vice versa.

Um, and the reality of parenthood and motherhood is that she needs to see me cry.

Like, she needs to know that Mommy gets sad sometimes, and, like, Mommy's working through it and it's going to get better, you know? But just the, my own relationship with feelings kind of gets in the way of that sometimes and kind of just causes me to shut down a little bit and just only practice feelings when songs are on.

Hmm.

If I stop playing 2, 300 shows a year, well, people see you as not successful, you know? And so that was one of the, the main things in my life that really took a hit at my mental health and really took a hit at my feelings.

I was so much better at feelings [laughs] before I was famous, like [laughs] I was, I had such a healthier relationship with feelings before I realized that feelings could easily become a currency, and that it was just my job to keep all the feelings as high and happy as possible at whatever expense to myself.

And that's what happens whether you're a mom or an artist or a, a dad at a wedding, a pastor at a wedding, when you're so caught up with, like, let me just monitor everybody else's feelings and create and serve joy on a platter as though it's mine to give, you know.

That was rough

...

they were horrible.

I feel so much for parents that are still going through this today with their children because, now don't get me wrong, there have been s- there's been so much research and studies, and we've grown so much in the medical community, and I'm so grateful for all the people that have put in the work.

But, I mean, if you are a parent of a child dealing with illness, that's a full-time job.

And I'm so grateful for my parents because they fought for me relentlessly.

Just, like, I would try one medication, and it would have me, you know, dealing with things like hallucinations and, or sleeping just, like, day after day after day, or not sleeping at all, or just complete loss of my personality.

Mm.

And And I think I probably butcher it and I probably describe it in many different ways, but I want to hear it from you, right? For people that are meeting you for the first time, how do you describe the work that you do and who do you feel most called to serve?

This has actually been an ongoing inner conversation for me.

How do I do? And I think I've arrived upon one statement that fits everything pretty succinct.

I teach people how to use their mind appropriately.

What that really means is that there's a lot of things that we don't know about ourselves.

We don't understand why we do the things that we do.

And we also don't understand why we aren't in the place that we want to be.

What do those people need to hear? I

He's in conversation with Jamie Grace, a music producer in Atlanta.

As a Black woman, and specifically as a, a Black woman in America, anytime the N-word is heard, specifically in the context of a, a white person to a Black person, it's horrible.

Unfortunately, I have personal experience with that.

I, I grew up in the South, and so that personal experience is just something that's incredibly frustrating.

When I first saw the clip, that's actually the perspective that I was watching it from, and I was devastated and could not believe what was going on.

But then as a person with Tourette syndrome, when I saw that the person that said it had Tourette syndrome, I went, "Oh my gosh," because I was just already pretty devastated for the way that I felt that these conversations [chuckles] would go over the next few days.

I know for a fact that there are tics that I have and that my friends have and that my peers have that we don't want at all and that don't represent who we are.

I wonder, does knowing what it's like to be abused racially, and you've both had experience of that, inform the way you, you act in day-to-day life with your own Tourette's?