learned to listen differently? Sort of what sort of different ways do they communicate with you so you can understand each other and have a relationship?

Yeah.

So that's probably been the biggest challenge over the years is I've said already not being able to imagine going through life without being able to speak and without knowing that people will understand you, that frustration of possibly having those words inside your head and no one can, you know, So it has been a lot.

And my boys are both non-speaking but still communicate in very different ways.

Jude, I'd say Jude has probably what would be described as a more severe learning disability and he struggles a lot with language.

So I've realised that when communicating with him, you have to keep the words very short and simple.

Otherwise it can be too overwhelming for him.

Can you just explain a little bit about that and how that sort of impacts on their lives and your lives?

not.

It's just in whatever happens in those first few moments is what shows him whether he's going to school or not.

So that's always an adjustment for him.

Weekends are an adjustment for him.

So to suddenly be at school on a Monday and not come home, you know, we're petrified.

Luckily...

The school were amazing.

When you described getting that first message from him and not sort of Tommy question mark back, what was that like for you to receive that?

What have you learned about communication, James?

I think exactly that, that communication is so much more than spoken language or spoken words.

Jude has taught me there's so many ways to communicate through body language.

Jude can tell you so much with his eyes.

I can know whether he's hungry, anxious, happy, whether a meltdown's about to happen, whether he wants to do more, wants to finish.

And that's come from spending hours and hours and hours with him and really becoming in tune with the way he communicates.

And a lot of his communication will be, he will lead you to things.

And has it helped you, do you think, James, in your role as a father, as a human being, of being able to see the difference by Tommy being understood and being seen, that actually probably a lot of that behavior that you witnessed when he was younger and you didn't have this knowledge that you have now, um was was behaviors of distress wasn't it it was behaviors of frustration and if you weren't understood if we were having this podcast conversation today and you were talking to me and i wasn't listening or wasn't understanding you you know the frustration anybody would feel frustrated do you think that's that's shifted something in you certainly over the last six months to a year

Yeah

... you know, there was never a plan of, oh, let's, you know, turn this into a big social media page and, and, and write a book and anything like that.

It was just for years a, a way of, of sharing little insights into our life and thinking, well, this way, friends and family are getting to know Jude and Tommy.

But also, the wider world are getting to know Jude and Tommy as well.

And, and once I realized that so many people were interested and that they, uh, could relate to our family because they were living similar lives, it just inspired me to do more and more.

Mm.

Uh, he'll, you know, nod, shake his head.

Six months ago now, he started to text me, which-... seven months ago, I never would've thought was possible.