the mother

so i want to i want to honor that they're both equally as valuable as each other and again it's not to blame which it's interesting when we when we want to hold the feminine side accountable we have to preface it we say hey we're not blaming anything here which is a part of the programming but if we were to say our men need to do better you know like this is absolutely ridiculous we don't have to preface that with the protection or looking after men's feelings with it which is a symptom of society I think the woman or the mother is there to help the boy's development through nurture and nourishment in the first few years.

And then after that, she's the defining factor about letting him develop a sense of independent self.

in opposition to her.

So whenever I look at this, I always go through a process of differentiation.

So you look at the traits that are things that you don't like about your mother.

Generally, they exist within you.

So what are some of the downstream impacts of a man that's had that type of devouring mother, smother mother?

Mm.

But now, because that gets demonized, boys and men look to women for validation and approval, which that's not the natural way.

For the first, I'd say probably 35 years, it's all about what you do defines who you are, and then at around the 35 mark, the second journey is who you are defines what you do.

What means more to me than just making money or doing another business or having another property or another car or whatever? Quite often around this time, this is where men will get divorced.

You'll see them buy the red sports car, divorce their wife, go after the younger woman, 'cause that's that performance identity trying to hold onto its relevancy.

And usually they'll do that, and then a few years later they'll get really sick.

They'll get heart disease, or they'll get cancer or something like that because the initiation or the reflection that life is trying to make you pay attention to, it just knocks louder.

Okay.

What role does the mother play? What role do you think it should play? Um, let's just explore that a little bit.

I think that the mother is imperative, right? So the first couple of years, the child's not gonna survive without the mother.

So I wanna, I wanna honor that.

They're both equally as valuable as each other, and again, it's not to blame, which it's interesting when we, when we wanna hold the feminine side accountable, we have to preface it.

We say, "Hey, we're not blaming anything here," which is a part of the programming.

But if we were to say, "Oh, men need to do better," you know? Like, this is absolutely ridiculous.

We don't have to preface that with, uh, protection or, um, looking after men's feelings with it, which is a symptom of society.

Mm.