yeah i think the other thing too just off the back of that the thought that i came to my mind is if you're going to ask someone if they're okay you need genuine curiosity to actually listen to what they're saying and if they make a statement in there that might need a bit more unpacking you've got to be able to have that space to do it um if we're going to have these conversations with someone obviously we get to are you okay as the start what's the next point that we do and at what point do we go hey this needs unpacking but i don't have capacity to do it where do we go from there

I think there's certain flags that we should be looking for.

So sometimes if people are, you know, testing the waters to see are you a safe person that I can be vulnerable with, you're listening.

At the end of it, if you genuinely don't know the answer, you don't pretend to be a counsellor, psychologist, doctor or, you know, specialist in this area.

Be really honest with them and say, you know, that must be really hard.

I appreciate that you're so open with me and that you trust me.

What I'd like to do is be able to go on this journey and see if we can find someone who's trained in this area that can carry on this conversation with you.

Just quickly, how do we have these conversations with our kids when we're concerned about them?

Can I ask what some of the epiphanies were when you realized this?

Yeah, I definitely think the whole giving up something and not replacing it, I think that's a big factor.

I think the other thing as well, we need to help our young people feel a sense of belonging not to one group.

I had a belonging to athletics but I didn't have any other groups.

So when athletics left, I didn't have anything to fall back on.

So as parents, we have to position our kids in different environments.

So whether that's youth groups, sports, music, sports, You know, something extracurricular, you can't rely on schooling because school is too volatile and kids need parents to get them to places.

That's

that's for them.

That's right.

It's that kind of and I can sit in it.

I'm not going to be offended and I'm not going to be swayed beyond what I want to do, that kind of thing.

But it was in those moments that I started to, again, look around and I think these people have got something I don't have and they have peace, they have love, they have freedom, they've got direction.

And I'm sitting here and I don't have any of those things.

And so I started to ask the questions like, what changed your life? And every single one of them were like, you know, my Christian faith or God or reading the Bible.

you just had that peace

And I guess picking up on your point around kind of healthy, sustainable homes, could you tell us a little bit around, I guess, the current policy surrounding housing in the UK right now?

Yeah, it's a bit of a mismatch, really.

And it depends on the sector as well.

So there's lots I can kind of tell you.

The biggie, though, is that unfortunately, we don't prioritize health and well-being.

So when you look at new build, we're very much looking at the volume of homes that we build.

We look at.

Talking a bit about the future then, you know, if we were having this conversation and say, I mean, it's not that far away, 2030, what would a kind of truly healthy home look like from your perspective? Yeah.

But if this relationship isn't working and you're concerned about me and just wanting to make sure that I'm OK, how do we do that?

okay so this is a very interesting um conversation sometimes we're finding that parents who are dysregulated themselves and they're trying to regulate their dysregulated child so the first thing that i would say to the parents is maybe get some support talk to somebody bring someone in vent to them lean on people who know the expertise all of that.

Reaching out and getting help is not a sign of weakness.

In fact, as someone who coaches parents and helps parents all the time, I say the first thing to them, this is a sign of strength that you've realized you can't do it yourself.

Okay.

Get the parent regulated.

So they're in a much better position to be able to intervene without all these emotions going everywhere and triggering the young person off, you know, even more.

Mm-hmm.