Mm-hmm.

And the art is to constantly be negotiating this dance of open and closed, contracting and expanding or whatever it is, inhalation and exha- exhalation.

That's becomes another rhythm of life.

Um, and so the child needs the good enough parent to start navigating this, this dance.

And then what you said about trauma as an extreme event does, um, somehow disrupt the dance, the fluidity and the dynamism of the dance.

But I would argue as well that, um, people talk about trauma too much about the big things that they can remember, and it's not about the microscopic things that happen every day.

Like, if, as a child, you smiled at your parent or you try to play peekaboo and they never peekaboo-ed back-

Can you talk a little bit about, like, how you think about that in your work or how you help people understand that?

Yeah.

And the hardest one to pass.

My first gut reaction was a little railing against anger about the way that supervision and training happens because it's very fear-mongering.

It's all about like, it almost feels like policing and it makes you so tight.

And as a trainee, I was so distracted by the image or the sense of my supervisor watching over my shoulder.

Most of my mistakes, and I made a lot of mistakes, as earlier in my training was because I was trying to impress my supervisor who wasn't even in the room.

And supervisions would be about talking about what happened the week before, and then they would give some suggestions about how to think about it.

in