motor.

And listen to this horn.

That note is by Stokowski.

Well, how is the car on gas? Well, I get about four miles to the court.

If I insist, of course.

If you, uh...

If you put your foot down.

All right,

I understand- [audience laughing] I understand you're a bit of a prophet in your spare time, Mr. Grump.

You said it, Al, you said it.

I have the nose, see? So I can tell what's gonna happen before it happens, see? [audience laughing] And I'd like to say right here and now that from where I sit, the outlook's pretty gloomy.

Pretty gloomy indeed.

Yes, sir.

Willy-nilly, eh?

You said it.

Fathers checking accounts are gonna have falling arches.

[laughs]

Listen, Miss Livingston, while I was in that Chinese restaurant, I opened a fortune cookie and there was a little piece of paper in it that said, "A certain comedian whose first name is Mary may soon be leaning on that hosiery counter again and not buying."

Okay, okay.

Don, do you mind? No, not at all.

Come on, Mary, let's leave so Claudette can be alone.

She's not alone, I'm with her.

So long, Jack.

So long.

Wait

a minute.

Look, fellas, last week on this program, you announced that Jack Benny would be your guest here tonight.

I announced it on my own show, and not two minutes ago, Don Wilson started off the program by introducing the cast and Jack Benny.

Now, who'd you expect up here tonight? Genie with the light brown hair? Or Fred Allen's eagle or something? It certainly is a surprise.

counts.

Say, and then, and then...

What's the difference if the premiere is held in Old Orchard, Maine, or Waukegan, or Weatherford, Texas? Say, you know, say if those cow punchers like me, maybe they'll give me the shirts off their backs.

[audience clapping]

Oh, really, I think...

Oh, Bill, I think, I think, really think that's go- that's going to be a great show, I do.

Well, what are you doing over here in the Lux Radio Theater, Jack?

Well, Bill, you know, I'm moving my program to CBS starting next Sunday night.

[audience laughing] On my same time, ahead of, right ahead of Amos and Andy.

And now that we're gonna be neighbors, I thought I'd drop in.

And just what other lines? Uh, the violin?

Thank you.

No, no.

You see, I can, I can see myself as a great dramatic actor playing a real meaty role.

That's why I brought this script along.

Here, take a look, Bill, Irene, Walter.

Say, isn't this a little out of your line, Jack?

Out of my line? No, listen to this.

Oh, he is? Well, can I speak to him? Thank you.

There you are, Mary.

Yeah, I told you he was just as anxious.

Hello? Well, how are you, Mr.

DeMille? This is Jack Benny.

Oh, I'm pretty good.

Say, listen, I just called Mary.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hello? Mr.

DeMille's office? Uh, well, this is Jack Benny speaking.

Is, uh, Mr. DeMille back from lunch yet? Oh, he is? Well, can I speak to him? Thank you.

There you are, Mary.

See, I told you he was just as anxious...

Hello? Well, how are you, Mr.

Well, goodbye.

[laughs]

If I wasn't deaf, I could have heard the bees.

Wait a minute, wait.

[laughs] [upbeat music] Great.

[laughs]

[laughs]