Yeah

... had it all together.

Um, and that's what people saw.

I wanted people to see me as perfect.

I grew up having a perfectionist mindset like many of us do, and said that if I wasn't perfect, if I wasn't reaching the goals that I had for myself, that I was really attaching my self-worth to, that I would be a failure.

And so, you know, I was trying to do everything that I was told, right? And living under that kind of those expectations and the pressures, but had this intense anxiety, um, negative self-talk, low self-esteem that kept me from reaching the, the goals that I had for myself that I said were perfect.

So that's why even though I looked like I was perfect and I had all these things going for me, they really didn't mean much to me, which just only fueled the, the mental health challenges, uh, that I had as a student and an athlete.

Yeah.