Whoa.

She's just weeping.

And I was like, wow, that's awesome.

This sort of stuff just happens to me where I don't feel like I'm doing very much.

I actually kind of feel like I'm failing sometimes and or I'm just like sitting there literally looking at a black screen.

And then somebody will come on and say something like that.

Because, yeah, it was incredible.

we're just all people

And I would rather that you keep your train of thought.

Okay.

Okay.

So, what...

A couple of things.

Um... why don't we think about anger this way? Why don't we think about fear this way? That our threat responses are always connected to something that we value.

They're fighting for something that we value.

like i

put a free download to your rejuvenation exercise in the description.

Yeah.

So there's, how do we learn those things? I first want to say in a way it's tough it's it's like seems like it should be the most natural thing but it's tough um there's there's so many factors at this point that work against us and so what what I see is I worked with somebody I think this example has become famous from people who've listened to what I say.

But I worked with somebody specifically on napping for a month.

She came to me.

She was exhibiting depressive symptoms.

It's like, I'm just not interested in things I used to be interested in.

Yeah.

No,

no, this is good.

This is good to praise.

Um, so shame, demons and authority are what I want to talk about today.

And, um, Shame.

We'll start with that.

The difference between guilt and shame.

We have not really talked about authority.

hmm,

like when we start to trust the Lord, that he brings us into truly a new life like that he makes all things new and i think saint paul says it and i'm going to misquote it but it's like the things i regarded as gain i now regard as loss and what i used to regard as loss i now regard as gain um and so you have him being like thrown out of a temple and stoned um by the jewish officials And that is now what he regards as gain.

It's like, oh, being totally rejected by my people and being severely wounded and hurt by them where they just left me for dead.

And then I somehow survived that and had to go crippled for however many days, living with both the rejection and the pain and the fear of my life.

Oh, that's gain.

That's actually like glory to God.

And so we have such a skewed view on what's worth it.

yeah yeah so so much addiction um what's the first step to kind of walking away from that and trying to reconnect with the present moment and come to being okay with discomfort if that makes sense

right?

And how do I know that? Because I'm very attentive to her.

And so I come to learn her.

I learn who she is and how she is and what she needs.

And when an insult is just her being hungry and when an insult is because something's really deeply wrong and we need to fight about it.

And I learned some of those things in the first year of our marriage.

I learned some of those things just yesterday, you know, it's like 11 years in.

Continue your

think we're talking about two very different kinds of bad days.

Yes, yes.

My kinds of bad days are like I lost my mind and didn't even really recognize myself for several hours.

That's my kind of bad day.

But what's one of the things I've been noticing recently is.

There's the saying of the straw that breaks the camel's back like that, just the little extra thing, the waiting in line for 40 minutes, having done all of that.

And the way I've been thinking about it is that I spend most of my life operating above my capacity.

So those are all connected in my mind.

hilarious.

And she's writing letters to the Pope and badgering him.

And she's like, you know what God's telling you? He's telling you to come back to Rome because at this point, the Pope is in France.

And she badgers him enough till he comes.

And then he gets back to Rome and finds a bunch of Italians there.

And so he's upset about that because he didn't like Italians.

Yeah.

So you were talking about St. Francis next.

what

could be.

And so that's actually really helpful for me.

is to see like okay if if our suffering in the present time is nothing in comparison with the glory for which we're destined and i see this tremendous amount of suffering then my lack of imagination for what could respond to that is actually exciting that i gave a talk once where it was about beyond imagining And how each of us are going to come to a point where we can't imagine the answer.

We can't imagine an adequate answer to this amount of suffering.

We can't imagine an adequate fulfillment to the desires in our hearts.

And we have to, when we come against that inadequate imagining, we have to decide whether that means there is nothing.

Yeah.

was

it took me actually a long time to make the connection of that's what therapy is.

Like, oh, how does that make you feel? It was so ingrained in my head that I was like, I like walking with people while they're suffering.

I wonder what I could do with that.

And I was, and I only was studying it as a hobby major.

I was like, I like how people's brains work.

I like learning how people's brains work.

Yeah.