Right.

This does not mean that this is what anybody else has to do, and I don't want anyone to feel shame over what they are currently capable of doing.

I eat, sleep, and breathe, seriously, like ministry.

I read about 30 theological books a year.

This is my whole world, right? So I say that with the connotation that this is also so deeply a part of, like, my identity and who I am.

So I started, and it was when I had my first child.

We were so poor that my sister was leaving diapers on our doorstep, and I just was at a breaking point in, like, literally my financial world, my...

[laughs]

So how do I not feel bad if all I can do is pray? And how do I know what I'm supposed to pray and?

So I will say for me, my prayer life looks very different at some point in 2025 because I started interceding on behalf of other people before I prayed for myself.

And so then what would happen by the time I ...

And I would literally set a, a stopwatch 'cause I wanted to try to hit an hour, um, just because Jesus says to the disciples, "Could you not," at the Garden of Gethsemane, "Could you not tarry? Could you not stay awake for one hour and pray for me?" So I started trying to pray for one hour, um, for other people, interceding.

And then by the time I got to myself, I kind of didn't care anymore as far as like I didn't have anything left.

I was exhausted.

I had put my whole heart into these other people.

Did you think that you would be doing what you're doing now for the 15 years that you were, um, in the educational arena and teaching?

But what you're saying, what I'm hearing you saying is if we pay attention and if we show up like today is that day that I'm anointed for, we're going to see God at work around us.

I would say it this way.

I spent most of my ministry life saying, God, please reveal yourself to me.

The entire point of Christianity is that God wants to reveal himself in you, not just to you.

Every day is an opportunity for you to be an image bearer where people experience God through you.

I'm just telling you, take me up on this.

It's something I pray every single day.

When it feels like God is stagnant or silent, how can we discern God's activities when our circumstances are like, I just don't know that I'm hearing from him?