I have a list of things.

Don't get me started.

I know, I know we're both laughing, and I think it's, what's r- really sad is that I think so often the unhelpful comments folks make are tr- are coming from a place of love and care, right? Um, so like holding that, I, I think we often i- it's, it's hard to know what to say.

Um, so often these kind of maybe wrong things to say, if you've said them, I'm guessing they're coming from a place of love.

It's figuring out, okay, how do I, how do I figure out what's more helpful, um, what's more useful for me to say? Um, I think some of, some of the ones that come to mind that I hear most from folks are, "Oh, you'll be fine." Um-

Mm.

And thinking about, okay, then what do we, what do we take from those findings? What do we do with that? I think about, okay, if we know this is one of the narratives that's especially true in a certain culture, how do we monitor it within ourselves? How do we acknowledge if this may be assumption or a bias that's really common, um, to our culture, our experience, um, is maybe getting in our way of getting, uh, getting help, or maybe getting in the way of a loved one getting help, right? And I think, you know, we talk about culture in terms of kind of the findings from the country, but culture can also be, like, some of the stories we tell within our own families around what it might mean to get help.

Yep.

But also, what, what does it look like for you, right? For some people it might be, "I need, uh, a 30-minute walk in nature," or for some people it might mean, "I need, uh, to be in the sunshine," or, uh, "Get an hour with a friend once a week," or whatever it looks like.

Figuring out what are, what are the things that you absolutely need to show up for yourself.

So if we're not, again, this kind of almost trite feeling, but it's, it's true.

If we're not showing up for ourselves and taking care of ourselves, there's no way we can show up for someone else.

So I think first of all, it's just getting clear on what those things are.

I think a lot of us, we, we don't often pause to think about what they are until they start being, uh, being taken away or, or disappearing, and then we're like, "Oh no, [chuckles] things are not good."

How might this experience be different for them?