And so when you look back, what are some of the things that you point to and go, well, here's why I stayed and here's why a lot of survivors end up staying?

I think it's the very nuanced things that nobody ever can even think up unless you've been through it.

So for example, he would make me feel like I was the controlling one as if I was not allowing him to express himself or be himself.

So he literally said to me once, Grace, I do everything to get uncomfortable in this relationship and you do nothing to get uncomfortable.

Wow.

It was all of the phrases like that, that I was like, maybe I'm just not getting uncomfortable enough.

Maybe I'm not willing to go through hard times.

So what were some of the things that happened in your relationship that, again, were like those subtle things or things that were violent that we might not necessarily label that way?

What was the biggest thing for you of thinking that, I mean, A, you're never going to get this chance again, or what was sort of, can you remember at that time, what was the battle going on in your mind, but what was the thing that really, really won through for you? Because this might help somebody else who's in this tussle right now and just not knowing which voice to listen to in their head.

The biggest thing for me was realizing if I went back this time, his first priority was probably going to be to get me pregnant, finally.

I mean, it might sound like a weird thing, but that was a big point of discussion for us.

And I knew if...

Here I am.

Yes, I married him.

But here I am having this opportunity where everyone in my life is telling me to leave.

Was that him reaching out to you or did you reach out to him?

But when you're trauma bonded, it's not as easy to then take that form of action when you've got all the other things he's saying in your head and your insecurity, your self-esteem, your agency and your autonomies being eroded in the process.

Yeah.

And I've actually never shared this before, but I decided I wanted to speak on this subject.

He was actually on probation for domestic violence when we first started getting together and dating.

However, it was framed to me because his charge did not include the word domestic abuse.

It was something with harassment.

I forget what it was called.

Did you believe...