She's a clinical psychologist who works with couples and with single people on the hunt for stable and healthy love.

People who are happy and maintain that happiness in the long term, it basically boils down to a really good friendship, and there've been a lot of studies and a lot of research put into this, so they've actually been able to define the sorts of behaviors that create that really good friendship.

Keeping in touch with each other's internal world, actually asking each other ongoing questions.

Not just, "How was your day?" but, "What's going on for you that I need to know about?"

[upbeat music] Jemma says there are loads of factors that are overrated when it comes to how we think about what makes a relationship successful, and right at the top of that list...

Anything related to the spark or chemistry.

So you're looking for attraction that's that slow burn attraction, that gentle build, because that sort of attraction's based on a genuine sense of this person's character.

So choosing based on looks, choosing based on shared sense of humor, even choosing based on shared likes in terms of hobbies is not a great way to choose a partner, because all those things change over time.