Yes.

And I was determined that I was going to basically focus on living and give as little space as possible to the awfulness, the reality of it.

Now, that's obviously, you know, it's a way of thinking.

It's a hell of a lot more difficult in reality on a day-to-day level.

So I've basically had to say goodbye over time to all my hobbies and passions.

I was a very, very active person, adventurous.

I also had a passion for cooking and I can't do any of those things anymore.

Explain to me how you came to this and how you embody it.