horrific,

man.

I think out of all the corporate gigs I've done, I don't do a lot, but the one that sticks out was somebody hired me in Cincinnati, and it was like a Christmas party, whatever their company was, right? Yeah.

It was all black people there, right? So I was good.

But it was one of those where the dance floor was in front of all the chairs.

And I'm on the stage where the DJ is, right? Not a lot of room.

So I asked the lady, anything off limits? She goes, no.

I don't, kudos to the people that can do that's why you see bands break up you know why bands break up because of the fucking bus i bet the bus because the bus is a lot of egos it's a lot of like if if you know none of these guys but if yeah if someone was bringing a wanted they wanted to bring a girl back or someone to have friends or whatever and you're like i don't want these people near my shit yeah i'm really kind of personal and secluded so i'm like i don't want someone on the bus with our fucking stuff so then there becomes this weird it's a weird balance it kind of sucks man it's i

Yeah.

And I went fifth after the four girls and when I went up Mitzi had the four girls like in a powwow in the back of the room talking to them.

And I go, "I don't, I don't think she's watching this."

[Laughs].

And I'm sitting here going, She's not watching me.

I'm doing my set but in the back of my mind going, They're not watching me.

And then I called a couple days later they said, "Yeah, you didn't get picked." And I go, "Well is there a reason?" And they go, "Nah, Mitzi just said you're not ready." I went, Fuck.

[laughs]

Hey, you've only been doing it a year.

Keep talking about your mom driving, no more Hans Kim.

[laughs] Yeah, no. [laughs]

Like, what the fuck? [laughs]

Hmm.

But when you go to YouTube ...

I actually was sitting there.

I remember talking to Ali's manager, and I don't know whatever YouTube special he did, it had to be, like, four years ago.

He, he recorded it in Houston, and I stopped by to say hi before he recorded, right? And then, uh, his manager was like, "Yeah, we're going to YouTube with this." And I was looking at him like, "YouTube?" And his manager at the ti- or his ...

I'm sorry, his agent, not his manager.

His an- agent was trying to explain to me why they went to YouTube, their frustration and stuff, and I've had the same frustration.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah

... did you see that ske- And l- just be, be honest with us.

Be honest with us.

Did you see... 'Cause there was certain people, I b- I believe Jake Paul.

Yeah.

I believe Jake Paul was like, "Man, if he can do whiteface, then I can do Blackface." And we're like, "Jake Paul, listen." Fall back.

Like, like Blackface- Yeah ... is a little different.

Naturally.

Oh, that's right.

Who, who, who got second? Who didn't make the team? [laughing] That, that [beep] was so bad.

[laughing] [laughs] They, they, they ...

Yo, they canceled the whole sport.

[upbeat music]

[laughs] I was right on that one.

[laughs] He was so excited backstage.

[laughs]

Yeah.

And it was...

I guess they did live jazz and music.

The guy wanted to do stand-up, right? So the first time I went, I was supposed to, I was supposed to, I headlined, right? And then he wanted to bring me back, and I came back, and I hosted the second time.

Well, he had a big crowd the first time he did it.

He had a big crowd the second time we did it.

Well, he got greedy, and I was like, "Once a month is good, dude." I go, "You're not oversaturating yourself.

Yeah.

[laughs]

Like, we had all the bad shakes of Cincinnati, we had all the Bengals.

I was like ...

And then Chad, I called him.

In 2006 I called him, I said, "Yo." He was coming every week, so I was like, "Um, let's do Chad Johnson's Too Funny Tuesday hosted by Gary Owen." So we did that.

That thing was sold out so far in advance.

Like, that 2006 year when me and Chad did it, it was packed to the brim.

Yeah.

[laughs]

Like, fact.

We had all the Bad Shakes of Cincinnati.

We had all the Bengals.

I was like ...

And then Chad, I called him.

In 2006, I called him.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

So, uh, something just popped up this week, so I There's just no way.

There's no social media.

The, no, I don't know the th- the phone numbers.

There's just no way to, for me to reach out to her right now.

Gotcha.

So, I, I, I, I mean, I think it's gonna happen.

I think she's just getting, from what I hear, she's just getting through her own process, getting through school right now.

Mm-hmm.

And then we're gonna do another one in December.

So we'll, we're just gonna crank them out, and the good... where I'm at now is good because I don't have to submit to Netflix and wait.

I'm like, look, here it is.

We're putting it on YouTube March 7th.

If you wanna take it off my hands, that's fine, but you gotta do so by March 7th- Mm ... or we're putting it on YouTube.

Mm.

No. I-

Mm-hmm.

He calls some GM over.

The guy comes over We sit down, has a cup of coffee in a coffee shop, and he goes, "So do you wanna go up?" And I go, "I mean, I can't do it for free." He goes, "Well, with the visas and work permits in The Bahamas, it would get complicated." He goes, "So I can't pay you.

I can't really say you're here." He goes, "But, you know, give me your account and I'll take care of everything."

No.

And I go, "I don't think they're gonna get it with this crowd." I listened to my agent, did my five minutes, ate shit.

It was awful.

I didn't get a chuckle.

Yeah.

And they said, "Richard's coming." And I was like...

And everybody was, you know, "Oh." He sat under his booth, had his two people with him, and they told all the comics, "No pictures.

Don't go up to him.

He just wants to sit and watch the show." And so, all right.

I get offstage, one of Richard's guys come and said, "Richard wants to meet you." And I was like, "All right." So I go sit down, and two things happened that was funny.

One, he asked to get a picture with me, and I was like, "All right." I said, "Well, can I, can I get my camera so I can remember it?" This is before iPhones and all that shit, right?

[laughs]

[laughs]

... that was there when I was there a few months ago, they said, "You know, Kendrick has never really said who he's talking about." Andrew's like, "How do we even know Kendrick was talking about me?" Now Envy, Charlamagne and Schultz are like, "We don't even know who Kendrick was talking about.

He could've been talking about Gary Owen." And literally the girl goes, "Pss, ain't nobody checking for Gary Owen."

Yeah.

Yeah.

So no, he's good.

He be cracking up.

And then he, you know, he, it's funny 'cause now he's kind of hanging out at the comedy club up there in, in the Bay Area, 'cause I, I, when I did the show, I brought him up there, and everybody knew him from back in the day when we used to come around.

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Uh, after 30 years or 25 years, I don't actually know what the number is, why is this comedy special special to you?

Uh, it, it's crazy how this comedy special came about, because I was recording my last one, Broken Family.

And you know, when you do comedy shows, you'll, you'll do a couple episodes and edit them together.

And we recorded that Friday and I said, "Are we good? Did we get that in the can?" They go, "Yeah." I go, "I think I got another hour." So then we recorded this one on Saturday.

So this one was more like just spur of the moment, kind of winging it a little bit.

So it came out kind of dope.

I was actually kind of excited, 'cause comedians, when you get a special, you work so hard for that hour.

But to, to have it meet your standard is the tough thing, right? Like, to be unforgiving enough in what it is that you're making to not have to obsessively crush it with however it is you sculpt these things.