G Lane
Mike "Grot" Lane ("G Lane"), head of New Zealand's Alternative Commentary Collective (ACC) and on-air personality on Radio Hauraki, host of The Agenda and The BYC Podcast.
37
APPEARANCES
4
PODCASTS
Oct 18, 2026
G LaneGUEST
So, like I said on Friday when I was talking to you, I chose to surprise the body with a ta-da! And paying the price now.
G LaneGUEST
The whole side of my body, it feels like I've been having a stroke for about 48 hours.
Manaia StewartHOST
Is the entire country outside of Canterbury getting in behind Northland, do you reckon? Oh,
Manaia StewartHOST
Um, but I think we should play the entire game with our pants off because that seemed to work for Kalyn Ponga.
G LaneGUEST
[laughs] I tell you what, though, it's something I've said for a very long time around, you know, increasing audiences, particularly with the opposite sex around rugby and rugby league.
1 HR 1 MIN LATER
G LaneGUEST
Yeah, and, and [laughs] at one stage we went and bought some beers and brought them into the commentary box, as we do.
G LaneGUEST
Went downstairs into the concourse with the people, um, paid an extortionate amount of for the, for our beers.
G LaneGUEST
Strolled back up with our things, went in there, and a poor young security guard came running after us and said, "You can't bring them in here."
G LaneGUEST
I tried to watch it last time and the, the most exciting thing that happened was an echidna came on the track.
G LaneGUEST
benaiah stewart it's like settle down brother it's all right we're okay we're an hour before kickoff
G LaneGUEST
Ladies and gentlemen, delivering the 2026 Tellsborough Premiership Trophy, on our big screen right now, Sydney Roosters legend Nick Polanis, out from the Newcastle Lights, former Paramount Newtown player, and now Knight's Chair, Jack
Jeremy WellsHOST
How was Vossi at the end, the commentator who just goes, how good is rugby league?
G LaneGUEST
They were going off their tits about it, but geez, that was pretty hard to get over.
Manaia StewartHOST
Have you heard about the whereabouts of the Ranfurly Shield this morning, Lane?
G LaneGUEST
No idea, but I tell you what, some of the footage of that roadie from the far north, Two counties look sensational.
Lou VincentGUEST
Well, like I said, it's my third year, and I'm blessed to be invited back to the hot springs spa
G LaneGUEST
spaBlack Clash Challenge here, and it's, for me, I kind of feel like I'm quite overwhelmed to be around these guys again after being away from the game for 15 years.
speaker_7NARRATOR
Set the Horaki Breakfast Podcast to auto-download in your podcast settings.
Manaia StewartHOST
The, the only person whose opinion I would take over Earl Grey would be if, you know-
G LaneGUEST
know-Apple, Adidas, Nike- [laughs] ... um, Amazon, Hulu [laughs] came out and said- Are they all hyphenated? Yeah.
G LaneGUEST
Um, Penrith's hopes of a fifth NRL Premiership in six years could hinge on Nathan Cleary's fitness.
G LaneGUEST
He's avoided a ban during the playoffs, but it's been confirmed that he suffered a, some bone damage to his foot.
speaker_12UNKNOWN
[upbeat music]
Manaia StewartHOST
Time for your latest sport headlines thanks to Expert Ultra, the beer for heroes.
G LaneGUEST
Questions surround Nathan Cleary's availability for the Panthers NRL preliminary final, uh, after he played a key role in their 19-12 win over the Roosters yesterday in Sydney.
G LaneGUEST
The giant chin halfback was sinbinned for dangerous contact to the active kicking leg of Hugo Sperela at the end of the first half, which could carry a one-match ban.
G LaneGUEST
in three hours, 50 minutes, and 50 sec- seconds, pipping Norwegian opponent Kristian Blummenfelt by 18 seconds.
G LaneGUEST
Wilde dropped his watch heading out of the final transition and says his brain had to work overtime to figure out his advantage with about two kilometers remaining.
G LaneGUEST
It is a massive weekend because they need to win this match and they go through then to basically to a semifinal.
G LaneGUEST
They'll know in their heart of hearts that the series has been lost in South Africa.
G LaneGUEST
And Codie Taylor, who's been named captain, um, congratulations Codie T- Taylor, but the most honorable thing he can do when the All Blacks win on Sunday and it's 2-all, and they get that wounding trophy and they split it in half, he gives it back to the South African captain.
G LaneGUEST
Very interesting, this one as well, with these two teams and their approaches on how they've come into this game.
G LaneGUEST
Um, basically the 49ers have been there for a week, so they've, you know, they've trying to acclimatize.
G LaneSOUNDBITE_SPEAKER
he found an excuse not to come on the pod today, as he's housing some significant demons.
G LaneSOUNDBITE_SPEAKER
[laughs] What happened is he came and had a chat to you, but in mid-conversation he browned out completely, and this is where things, um, get a bit blurry.
G LaneSOUNDBITE_SPEAKER
However, bystanders claim it was the clear case of a wasted WAZ fan wounding a former Kangaroo about his run-in with David Kidwell.
G LaneGUEST
You, I mean, you grew up, you grew up with the Auckland team of the '80s where it was 10-man rugby, rumble it up, Grant Fox in the corner, get a penalty, he'll kick it over.
G LaneGUEST
Uh, don't forget the Chennai Doctor as well, who just comes over the Surridge River straight into the Chennai Stadium.
G LaneGUEST
... and they will an aerial bombardment, and they will scrum us into the ground this weekend.
G LaneGUEST
You watch, they'll suck the life out of anything this weekend and strangle us, and it'll be tight.
G LaneGUEST
So they also picked that, um, their starting halfback, C- 'cause Cobus Reinach, who's the guy who got, um, yellow carded right at the end there.
G LaneGUEST
Uh, he was, he had been starting, but they picked this guy 'cause he's a bit quicker but evidently not quick enough on the box kick 'cause when Fabian Holland charged that box kick down, I reckon that just deflated their, their whole attack.
G LaneGUEST
J- um, Josh Morby, uh, will be on the right wing, and Will Jordan for the first time, and Cam Roigard for the first time on this tour are starting.
19 MINS LATER
RoodaPANELIST
You know what's been happening around here, don't you?
RoodaPANELIST
Jerry and Mina, The Hauraki Breakfast.
G LaneGUEST
"If players are injured and it's not critical, play on." We got the complete opposite on Saturday morning.
G LaneGUEST
Some of the oldest rugby, professional rugby players I've ever seen outside of Mata'a Nonu-
G LaneGUEST
Even Patrick Tuipulotu even challenging one news was saying, "Look, how come none of them have been HIA'd because there was no heat clash there?" And, and he's like, "I'm not the doctor," and just carried on.
G LaneGUEST
... so- something that's widely popular, you only get one, and then the [squawks] seagulls come around and, "Oh, are they biscuits? Are they going? Are they, are they freebies?" No, I bought them.
G LaneGUEST
Um, how good is it, though, that you can watch so much rugby, got rugby league, and you know what? I'm sick of people telling me that rugby's dead and you should get on the wires.
G LaneGUEST
Uh, and it's on the internet forever, uh, including, um, Jason Hoy's horrific run-out incident with Dylan Cleaver, which is the most replayed run-out in, uh, New Zealand cricket history.
G LaneGUEST
They, they looked like a completely and utterly different team from the week before, which w- looked so lackluster against the Dogs.
G LaneGUEST
So that was heartwarming stuff, and it's quite an important game this week and al- also the next few weeks because if the Warriors can somehow qualify, if they can get into second-
G LaneGUEST
but, [laughs] I mean, because there must be some English cricket fans who are like, "What the?" You know.
G LaneGUEST
But a very considered decision because the test coach and the one-day coach have to work in sync.
G LaneGUEST
He won't talk in what often Baz talked in kind of just these weird kind of motivational, uh, quotes, whereas Steven Fleming will be much more measured, and I think they'll enjoy that.
Manaia StewartHOST
How far off our World Cup final team do you think was that team on the weekend? Like, do you think, how many more changes would you see in that?
G LaneGUEST
And he looks down, and his wife is one th- rung below him, um, on the scaffold there.
G LaneGUEST
And, um, he looks down, goes, "Oh, geez," and then has to lie down on the top of the scaffold while his wife is underneath going, "Oh, you're okay.
G LaneGUEST
Just, just take time out." And then he goes, "Oh, I, I might have to just come down.
G LaneGUEST
I just take, just need a minute." And then my wife said out loud, "Wow, that massively gave me the ick."
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