Yeah,

exactly.

I saw problems by, you know, anyway, so, but I ended up going senior council and I tell you what, every week for about two and a half weeks, I just went and cried and cried and started opening up all these wounds, all these times when You know, you wake up in the middle of the night at 1 o'clock, which, by the way, only stopped after about a year after my counseling.

Imagine living with this for 30-odd years of your life, every night waking up at 1 a.m. with this screeching in your ear, and you're like gripping the bed as a 40-year-old, and you're terrified.

What's the screeching? Until one day you wake up, You realize, you remember, you're able to go to that place because your nervous system has done enough work to decide you're safe.

We can now unlock the box.

And you go to your mom and say, mom, I have this memory.

What led you to do that and what it is you do?