Anything else you want to discuss with us as far as that mind shift that needs to happen if you're going to attempt to declutter?

Yeah, I think one that really is prevalent for women is aspirational clutter.

So aspiration is if I had the time, energy, all the time and energy in the world, I would do this crafting project.

Or if I lost the 20 pounds, I would be wearing this dress.

Or it's something that might reflect your life in the past, right? or what you think that you would do in some aspirational future.

You have a cookbook for hosting dinner parties for 12 people.

And meanwhile, you haven't hosted anyone in like three years or something.

As a last thing we want to know, especially for our own ladies that are listening out there, single Christian women over 50, do you have anything specifically for them today or something you'd like to share?

Is there a connection between choice overload, because we do have all these choices, uh, decision fatigue, and the clutter?

Yeah, so especially in the United States, we like to think of our freedom of choice.

Like, it's really important to us.

Like, if we went to a restaurant, it was like a pizza place, and you go in and you're all excited about having pizza, and they go, "Well, we have plain pizza or pepperoni." Now, my kids would be fine, 'cause [laughs] they just like their plain pizza.

They're fine.

But, but we probably as adults would be like, "Oh, really? Like, that's it? Like, that's the only choice?" But if you think about if you've ever been to The Cheesecake Factory, and you go there and you get the menu, and the menu is like a novel.

There's just, like, so many choices.

So what are some practical ways that we could simplify our daily routine and then maybe set up our homes, our environment, our life to limit that clutter buildup?

And to be the main one when you're used to relying on your other half to do all these other things, right, is a big jump.

Yeah, I think that the thing that I've learned most just within the last like month or two since we've been here is that I have to really focus as I do on these foundational things.

And sleep has been a major problem.

My husband, he recently, just within the last like two or three months, started snoring like fairly regularly.

And when I, now we have a spare room, which is fantastic, but my brain kind of gets hyped up and then I can't fall asleep.

It was several nights in a row, just not being able to sleep at all.

And so I not only nicely kicked him out temporarily, but I love you and I need to sleep.

So

Mm-hmm

... which was exactly what I was hoping for, and my clothes, you know, fitting better.

Also, when it came to movement, I was exploring more gentle movement, like walking or, like, Pilates, those types of things.

And I felt better as far as I didn't feel so, like, worn out and tired from some of the pro- you know, things I had been doing.

And I also just appreciated that I do not feel the least bit restricted.

So right prior to this program, I had invested in a program that I found out about through Instagram.

It's one of those things you, like, feel so dumb afterwards.

Yeah.

Do you like it?

I, I do.

Yes, we really like it a lot.

There have been, not too many hiccups, a couple little hiccups along the way, which is totally normal.

It would be very strange if it was a completely seamless move with, like, no issues whatsoever.

But we really like the neighborhood.

We're super close to our parents, and the boys have really been enjoying it.

They're probably like

Like, how do you deal with those instances where another person calls you on getting rid of the stuff?

Yeah, I always remember Gilmore Girls, if anyone has watched that.

It's like Emily, who is like kind of the prim and proper, right? She is like trying to put all the stuff back that the mother-in-law had given.

And she's just like, oh, my gosh, because she wanted to make sure that everything was like perfect.

And so if you are either feeling like, wait, oh, my gosh, my mom is coming over and where's Mickey and where's all the things that she ever gave? First of all, you have to recognize that just because the person is asking, it's not necessarily that they're trying to make you feel bad about it.

Now, there might be people out there that are, but we're going to kind of separate the question from like, oh, my gosh, I did something wrong, you know, or I'm feeling guilty about it.

And I also recommend maybe kind of like first explaining like, oh, well, actually, it kind of like scared her because it was going off all the time.

what do you recommend they do?

So from your memory, like what was that like?

Yeah, so you have to keep in mind that I had already been on this decluttering, paring down journey for a while.

So it might look different from somebody that was just kind of starting from the beginning.

But I think the easiest way to kind of dip your toe into it is to come from an approach of...

Yeah.

And the main categories that I was like looking at first, and this kind of goes with what is in the book also was clothing, books, furniture, housewares, and then sentimental, like kind of at the end.

And she has like a specific way of doing sentimental stuff we can talk about in a bit later.

And I said, well... let's ask her you know let's see and and so I I just love that process and I know you have been going through this this process but think back before when you first first started what were your was there any expectations that you had when you went on set on your journey not just the Swedish death cleaning part but when you started your um your decluttering journey

I invited Emily here today to talk about Swedish death cleaning, so maybe you can explain what that is.

Yeah.

The name of it is kind of like, kind of like, whoa.

[laughs] Like, what is that, you know? Um, it became popularized, I think, in the United States, Canada, and North America, and probably most places in the world, after the book came out, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, which was in the 2018, 2019 timeframe.

And it's this woman, Margareta Magnusson.

She seems like the coolest person ever.

She says she's, like, between 80 and 100 years old.

Mm-hmm

And, like, I don't have them because I don't have, like, time to go to target yeah if you just don't go like that's the only that's my only like and that's not better that's not necessarily better you guys but that is but i but it's our fun friends it's in their budget it's in their our facebook group all the time so tell us what how can we help someone who says they feel like they have no self-control at target

Yeah, that is a biggie.

And I hear that a lot as well.

And so I think that anytime that we recognize that we're feeling that out of control feeling in a certain environment, whatever that might be, we have to understand like, why are we going into the environment in the first place? So perhaps we go to Target because there are specialty things there that we can't get anywhere else.

Like Cat and Jack fits our kids better than any other clothing type or something like that.

But More likely, it's not that Target has brand specific things that other places don't have.

It's that we're going in for a certain experience and a certain feeling.

What, what other tips or what other ideas come to mind when, when I say that?