Mm-hmm.

There's all of these things that create friendship.

Well, as adults, you just don't have that, and, and I think even in a work environment or another environment with your, where you're with someone, the, the structure is so set that it's hard for people to go like, "What is that step to friendship?" And I have just found that if I make it any time that I feel a spark with anyone, and my expectation is just this is a person that's gonna be in my group so that I don't feel lonely, like in my little collection of people that are there, um, and hopefully I'm doing the same for them.

Like, it shouldn't be a one-way street, but if I kind of approach it that way and I'm not putting the expectation, like, we're gonna be best friends, or we are gonna be ride or dies, right? This is just someone that, that is there and that makes my life a little bit more joyful, and I enjoy seeing, and we are able to have all these things that come with friendship, these bonds and these, uh, little inside jokes and those people you can look at, [laughs] you know, and just be like, "What is happening?"

Yeah.

Right? So if I'm not gonna be someplace for long, I may just, like, milk a very sm- like, "Hey, we're visiting in, we're in town for a month.

Um, I see that you have kids about the same age.

Like, where should we go?" Right? Like, "Do you have any ideas?" If that conversation goes well, I might say, um, "Can I give you my number? Would you mind texting me some of those things?" Or, "Would you be at all interested in, like, going to the park this week?" And I will just say, "I know this is super weird." Or, like, sometimes I blame it on myself.

[laughing]

And I was like, "Oh!" Like, yes, but I also believe in these...

Like, I realize that I have done a really good job of conveying to them the things that I don't like and I want us to do better to fix, but what I haven't done, and then upon reflection, like, part of the reason why I think this is so important, is I haven't conveyed the, like, vision of what I know America can be, or the idea that we can exist and both be proud of things and also want further change, right? So to say, like, "Well, we're going to lay these wreaths at the, the graves of all of these World War II, um, like, soldiers, and that is really important because what we believe is that we are a country that fights for the freedom of everyone and for equity and for this.

And sometimes we are not living up to our own...

Uh, and that makes us sad, but, like-...

in many instances, we were those people, you know? And then they're like, "But I thought war was bad." It's like, y- yes, that, too, but just, like, the complicatedness of it.

And then I think I internalize it to feel like, "Well, I'm not doing a good job, and is that because I'm, like, taking in too much of the news?" But then if I pull- so then I'm like, "Okay, I'll take in less news," right? But then I feel like a bad person 'cause I'm able to be like, "Well, this doesn't affect me." Um, Mary, help.

Yeah.