That's a small group discussion topic.

Well, and Brian and I have said this for years and again, we've had chances to experience it in our own lives.

Personally, we've experienced it with our kids, with other people's kids.

And I think what I keep coming back to is one.

I want to be okay with just stepping into people's pain without having to resolve it right away, which can be so difficult to do, especially as a parent when you're hurting too and you want to try to bring perspective right away.

I think I need to do a better job and we all probably need to do a better job of just sit in the yuckiness of it.

And it's okay to hurt.

That's metacognition, you know, thinking about what we're thinking about and is and ultimately you you talked about this being an issue of identity and idolatry and if our identity is rooted in christ that's going to protect us from idolatry making sports an idol and that is that is really the litmus test that you both have talked about is is engaging in this sport as a family as an individual athlete is it strengthening your faith Or is it pulling you away from your faith? Is it tempting you to idolize things you shouldn't idolize, to fall into despair or to arrogance? And Ed, how do we use that litmus test to really think, okay, is this strengthening my faith? Is this pulling me closer to God? Is this really strengthening my relationship with him? Or is this putting distance because of sin that it's introducing? How can we navigate that line, do you think?

How should that inform our attitude towards our kids' struggles when they are, you know, just struggling in the sport for whatever reason, whether that's emotionally, physically, psychologically, whatever it is? How do we pull that out some more? I want to hear more.

Well, it is that same kind of continuum like we just did with grace and truth.

Some of us maybe will lean in the direction of minimizing their disappointment or just trying to like wipe it away.

We're uncomfortable with it.

So we just want to say, get over it and let's move on.

And there's a different day tomorrow and kind of become a hype man who doesn't allow them to feel it.

Or some of us maybe we're going to rescue them from it in some other way.

Oh no, I'm going to be a traitor and I'm a quitter and I'm, you know terrible how do we like cut i guess my specific question is how do we cut above that narrative and go back to the heart of our own child and be the wise parent and steward sports in their particular life recognizing they're in this huge ecosystem of competing voices

Um, Ed, would you have anything to add to that?

Well, we could end up doing the whole podcast just on this and want to be careful about not opening up too much of a can, um, But it's a ministry philosophy question for pastors.

And again, I don't know who exactly is listening to this, but sometimes, and I was actually an elder at a church for eight years and so was very much in the seat of a pastor at this church experiencing what we're talking about.

And my tendency is always to want people to come to me.

That's always easier.

Again, that's sort of a traditional church model.

And maybe I need to start going to where people are more than always expecting them to come to me.

Does anything come to mind for you, Ed?

How do we recognize when we've got our priorities out of whack?

Hmm.

You know, it's so interesting because Brian and I really have not spent a ton of time trying to help people parse out how much they should play or where they should play or how much they should pay to play.

We just think that's going to look different for people all across the spectrum.

What we're saying is no matter how much time and energy you're giving to it, are you looking for the categories in your child's life that will develop their soul? In other words, most of us go to a game and we're watching for their playing time.

We're watching to see how they perform.

That's what all of our metrics have to do with their performance.

Yeah, we definitely can.