She assumes bad in what I'm doing." So we often can feel like we are the, the party that's actually being aggrieved.

Yeah.

There's a consumption with pointing out hypocrisies because when you, when I was avoidant, it would be like my wife would be describing her feelings that were about me and in some parts because of me, but other parts, you know, could've been her responsibility and, and, and as any man, I felt like it was my job, you know, to really inform her of the ways that, you know, she was really contributing to [laughs] this outcome that she didn't like.

And, uh, and it's this overemphasis on like, hold on, you have-- or you've-- A specific-- Or another feeling I had was, "You felt this way too? Let me find every moment-" ...

where you felt blamed by, by Drew.

And, uh, and I feel like it's, it's in this moment where because you're blaming me for something, I feel like I need to point out a moment where you've done it too, just so that you feel un- unqualified or unjustified or whatever you wanna say, you know, that it's not valid for you to hurt essentially because you've done it too.

And if you just maybe had some more introspection that maybe, you know, you would be humble and, and apologetic to me.

Mm.