I can

pull up.

And the reason why I lay out that context is because...

It is important to look at it this way and for us to be getting data because I do sometimes see within the non-monogamous community at large, people not necessarily seeing themselves as a political entity or as a group that is stigmatized.

Like I think people can see like, oh yeah, my family doesn't get it.

My friends don't get it, right? Like maybe it's the butt of the joke in certain situations.

But yeah, sometimes people, both monogamous and non-monogamous don't realize that, oh, there's actually some pretty serious consequences that people have met by being openly non-monogamous or by being outed, right? So, you know, outside of like the social acceptance and family acceptance, right, which in the 2025 community survey data, they found that 40% of respondents said that they had experienced stigma within social settings, 36% within family settings, but also stigma in healthcare, Like that's a complaint that I hear from people all the time, you know, like my doctor, I can't talk to them about STI testing or about sexual health risk without getting a monologue about STI.

What do you think about this? And like, where do you fall on this spectrum, do you think?

Hmm.

Well, to be clear, unicorn hunting is not like necessarily hated by everyone within the non-monogamous community.

I think it is a thing that some people do.

Some people enjoy being a unicorn.

Some people like going out on dates and feeling pampered and feeling like they're the attractive one that gets to be doted on by a couple all night, and that can be a really thrilling and fun situation for a person to be in.

But I think the challenge lies in when the unicorn has to be, you know, equally liked, like we were just talking about, by both people.

And if there are feelings stronger for one member than another, then that is maybe where some challenges come in and where, you know, that person might get kicked to the curb because-

Mm-hmm.

I'd argue that this is the advice to maintain a healthy relationship.

My name is Dedeker Winston.

I am a relationship coach who works primarily with non-monogamous individuals, couples, and the occasional triad as well.

I'm also the co-host and co-producer of the Multi-Amory Podcast, which is a research-backed relationship advice show that centers non-traditional relationships.

My piece of advice is something that has just stuck with me for many, many years, ever since I first learned about it.

So my training for couples therapy comes through the Gottman Institute, which is a research institute that focuses only on studying relationships.

And so they've put out a lot of really interesting research over the years.

So when you became aware of this research, how did you start to train yourself to open and then turn toward the bid of your partner or partners? I don't know who your partners are, if you have partners.