Why are you doing this? To get the sale, to get acceptance, and really to heal that primal wound I had from being adopted.

And so, yeah, I just, from the time I can remember, really, the motivation I had was in college, I went into a classroom and I would, I'd kind of like stereotype, but I'd look for people who would be my biggest competition.

And then I'd look for them in the library and went to a smaller university.

And I'd make sure I worked harder than they did.

Obsessed with the work ethic.

It was shocking when I realized, my God, my childhood was messed up.

You know, and I really had this, like, I had a happy...

I mean, so I, ironically, I created a story in my mind and my heart that I just, you know, even as I grew older, you know, that I just had such a great childhood.

And I would think that I was so happy.

And I was.

And I would create it myself, but it was literally, it was like Disneyland was inside me, and that's how I would survive.

It's never been what I, you know, I said, I don't even know what to say I missed, but that yearning that you feel to just be connected.

And when I see it in other families, or I see it in some of the ways that some of our family have as siblings together, it's just a deep, deep grief.

So that's the longing, the yearning.

So with Jim...

the Martian coming and all of a sudden landing in my life, it just, it's really hard to put words to.

There's this instant, instant bond that I still, I still have to pinch myself.