[laughs]

... is always kind of something I want to avoid.

But it became increasingly clear that, you know, we couldn't do this alone, that we would need help from people, that, you know, my schedule, my cherished schedule, would have to change, and I would have to be unreliable at work and unreliable in other ways, where previously I had been, you know, perfectly reliable.

And I think, you know, what Jessica's saying is very true, that the messaging you get when you're not a parent, but also when you are a parent, is that you should be able to handle things by yourself.

You shouldn't need help.

And, um, I think what Jessica had kind of been working through in the years leading up to becoming parents was how you do need help and How the more you ask for help, the better you get at it, the less scary it becomes, and the stronger the bonds between you and other people become, and it gets progressively easier.

Hmm.

And, you know, the whole thing I've learned in being a parent is kind of figuring out what you need to change about your own stances towards parenting, and often they're, they can be very brittle stances for whatever reasons, and adapting them to the situation that you're actually in.