Did those understandings shift the way you felt about them?

Yes, it did.

But I still always had to, um, find ways to protect myself.

Um, Why did you have that urge still? Because I might have changed, but they have not.

I don't know that I have changed, but I might have come to a clearer understanding of the dynamics, but they have not.

And they still have not.

And there is a role that I play in the family, which is impossible.

did you discover?