Dana Killion
Dana Killion is an author and speaker on trauma and healing, whose memoir "Where the Shadows Dance" and upcoming book "Becoming Unbreakable" draw on surviving a marriage to a high-functioning alcoholic with a secret life.
3
APPEARANCES
3
PODCASTS
Oct 1, 2026
Tim TedderHOST
It's a process of writing your own explanation of what the other person did rather than waiting for them to explain it all to you, okay? Walk me through what that looked like for you.
Dana KillionGUEST
Well, anybody who has been harmed by another person has this expectation that the individual that hurt us, particularly an intimate partner, can tell us why.
Dana KillionGUEST
And if the person who has hurt us can't answer, we either stay in the stuckness, we stay in resentment, or we move into self-blame because we have to complete the story.
Dana KillionGUEST
I knew that my former husband could not explain his behavior, his sexual behavior.
10 MINS LATER
Tim TedderHOST
What are some of the steps of that process of becoming unbreakable? What does that mean? What does that look like?
Dana KillionGUEST
I found out the truth of my husband's behavior while he was in rehab, finally.
Dana KillionGUEST
But The drinking part and the sexual behavior part, they were intertwined in his identity.
Dana KillionGUEST
These are tools that the individual is using to numb and distract from whatever pain they're going through.
15 MINS LATER
Lesa KoskiHOST
But how can we help women when something comes at them? Because there's sometimes where you're just like, all you can do is walk.
SamuelHOST
How were you able to not just get up and get after it, but how did you find purpose in life and meaning and this grit that obviously you're showing the audience?
Dana KillionGUEST
You know, I spent a year of my life curled up in a ball on the floor emotionally and physically.
Dana KillionGUEST
I barely remember what happened in that first year after I learned that my life had been a lie.
Dana KillionGUEST
And over time that I can't let him break me came in and it's become kind of a bit of a mantra for me.
11 MINS LATER
SamuelHOST
And