Savage.

But when it started, it was just a day after work, and I knew who he was because I had the book blog, and I had made fun of Hillbilly Elegy because if you read it, I read it like all the other good liberal boys.

I worked in a bookstore, and when it came out in 2016, I did my full Malcolm Gladwell, and I was like, I got to reach out to the other side and see what they have to say.

And what he had to say was...

the most sympathetic memoir like everything bad that could happen to you in ohio short of you know like actually being beaten by your own like his dad's absent his mom's on drugs it's physically and emotionally abusive he has to live with his grandma who's poor like everything that he should have learned he just decides like no there shouldn't be snap benefits like he's already looking down on other poor people he's like we work these people they don't work and you're like you But you understand they also need, like, a leg up, right? Like, you also understand.

Right.

Snap benefits are good.

the part where

Oh, no.

Because I've been, just speaking of, like, yeah, what's acceptable, I, I feel like my brain broke when Trump told Hillary, "You'd be in jail," and everyone clapped, and then everyone was like, "Why are people clapping? Don't we hate this guy?" And I was like, "No, the country loves this guy.

Like, they think he's funny.

They think he's interesting.

He, he's not us." And I, I, so I, and I listen to polls, and I never learned my lesson.

That's my point, is that now I'm listening to polls again and being like, "They're-

Yeah, yeah.

They were...

[laughs]

1932, Western Australia, there is a flock of rogue emus 20,000 strong roaming the outback of Western Australia, eating all the wheat.

And as you all know, 1932, that's the peak of the Great Depression.

They needed that wheat, so they sent the Australian military in to put down a flock of birds.

[laughs]

So as soon as the Australian Army rolls up on a flock of 20,000 velociraptors from Jurassic Park, they're like, "No, this is emu country now.

We're all gonna be out east surfing.

We do not have time for this." They gave up twice in pretty rapid succession.

But how long ago was it that that's all you were doing and you weren't working?

Yeah.

When I first moved to New York, anytime you move somewhere new, it takes a little while to find a good space.

And then in New York, it always changes.

So sometimes you're... you're getting booked on a lot of shows and then you get the rug pulled out from under you and you got to start going to some good mics again.

But I, I still do.

I still do this.

So I knew it, you know, for the next this Civil War part to go to Kentucky because I went to

And now it seems that they appear to be more center right when they see themselves as just straight up moderate.

Well, I think Manchin was in a position to really screw us and he screwed us out of half of the Green New Deal, right? Yeah.

So if you're so gunned to my head, which one's worse? I think they're apples and oranges because I think Fetterman's actually like ill.

He was mentally ill when he went into hospital for depression, which I accept.

And then he is now unable to string a sentence together.

And it's bad.

And I think that he...

And if we're not calling it out, if not enough people are calling it out, then he's going to slide by and really kind of, you know, fail upwards and be at least, you know, that one week president where people had to listen to him.

A roadside technician.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

I was a little late because I helped a child jump his car.

And you know what I mean? I told I was like, you know, the number one rule.

Right.

And he was just like, oh, oh, turn my car on first.

okay yeah i

[laughs]

"Instead of Colbert.

And who cares who the audience is? Who cares if they're 90-year-old, like, people who aren't in touch with reality? I'm g- I'm gonna make money." And that's, that's how I feel about him.

I feel like he is that guy who was, like, a soft dude who had a very touching story, who could have learned all the right lessons, but even in the book, there's little seeds of, like, "These people need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps." And you go, "All right.

You can go be a rich guy.

Go be a rich guy.

Get outta here." And then he just got plucked, and I think he had a very awkward...

[laughs]