Halloween, I believe.

It was Halloween.

I dressed as a French maid and I pulled into the, it's a parking garage at UCLA you had to park at and you took shuttles into the mansion.

So I remember just waiting for the shuttles and just thinking to myself, I had driven like two and a half hours to go there.

And so I'm just like waiting, I'm freezing in my little skimpy outfit and I'm just waiting for this.

And then I remember at one point it seemed really busy and they're like, just go home.

And I thought, I can't go home.

Just the sun.

Like, the whole having to come get money once a week, it was demoralizing, demeaning, and done intentionally so that he could let you all know that he was in charge.

When I was at the mansion, I remember, like, begging for allowance every Friday.

And he's like, oh, you know, were you good? Like, oh, you're kind of shy in the bedroom this week.

So am I going to take this hundred back or am I going to give it to you? Or, you know, it's like this really...

messed up game so then from that it's like financial abuse so then I'm like I'm gonna do whatever it takes like if people want to pay attention to me because I'm at this mansion like okay fine and so I got like brand deals on Instagram like promoting tea and teeth whitening and then I learned to DJ and I was able to go to Vegas for a few day trips and I'm like I'm just gonna save save save and so I can buy my way to freedom, I guess.

And I got into real estate and I bought a house like behind Hef's back and I remodeled it and I sold it.

And then I did it again.

And if that is not a testament to what your character is, then the other ones can take a long walk off a short pier.

Can you really paint that picture for someone who maybe from the outside looking in just has no concept of the harm that actually, um, happened?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, every type of abuse was experienced there, emotional, physical, sexual, you name it.

Uh, it was hard.

You know, a lot of people think that the girlfriends there were for show, and Hef didn't really have sex with them, and, and he did, you know? He had sex with all of us, and it was pretty frequent, and, you know, we would be down in movie night, and he'd s- he'd start undo, opening a piece of tissue, and it has the blue pill in there, and take a Viagra, and then we'd all just, like, ugh, like, "We're gonna have to do this." And so we'd go up there, and, you know, he would, he would force me to, like, perform with other women, and, uh, some of my earliest sexual experiences were negative with women, which is, is very, like...

I had friends that kind of did things to me when I was young, and they were women, and so, you know, I, I think Hef, like, expects everyone to be, like, oh, like, the women are also into women, but that's not always the case, you know? I w- I, um, was forced to be with women that I didn't wanna be with.

Uh, you know, everyone's kind of making fun of each other, like, when you're in there, in, in this room with him.

Um, what has that looked like for you? Where are you at in that journey? What advice would you give to someone else starting that journey? Tell us a little bit about that.

Welcome.

Good afternoon.

My name is Crystal Harris.

I am the director for Durham County's Community Intervention and Support Services Department.

And I will be starting off this presentation.

And then I'll hand it over to my counterpart, Mr. Ryan Smith.

Before I get started, I do want to do a couple of quick acknowledgements.

Was that 12% or just 12?

know like if we're

going there like there was no safety sexually and so that to put your partner kind of at risk and to not care about any of that I think is uh very dangerous yes and so I thought kind of early on like this man like maybe he thinks he knows what love is but I don't think he really does because he wants me to like do all these things with other people and I'm not good enough um their coercive control.

Like I, I didn't even know what that meant until I, after I left.

Yeah.

While I was there, we didn't have any of these terms.

And so, so I was just kind of confused.

And when people say, why didn't you leave? Why were you there? Like I felt at that point so broken down and like damaged goods where I'm like, where would I go? Like I'm worthless.

And so it's like,

She'd stay out of his way for the rest of the night.

I had just gotten in bed, and next thing I know, he comes strolling in the room and wants to have sex.

And I said, "No.

No, we're not having sex." And he starts in on me like, "Well, we are married, aren't we?" And then he starts saying, "This is not up for negotiation." I can remember a flood of adrenaline going through my body, like, "Oh, my God, what is happening?" I'm not able to talk my way out of it.

He's 220 pounds.

I was 120 pounds.

I couldn't hurt him if I tried, whereas he could kill me.

We end every episode with the same question: Why do you want to share your story?

She'd stay out of his way for the rest of the night.

I had just gotten in bed and next thing I know, he comes strolling in the room and wants to have sex.

And I said, no, no, we're not having sex.

And he starts in on me like, well, we are married, aren't we? And then he starts saying, this is not up for negotiation.

I can remember saying, flood of adrenaline going through my body like, oh my God, what is happening? I'm not able to talk my way out of it.

He's 220 pounds.

I was 120 pounds.

If you'd prefer not to hear this, you can fast forward a minute and a half.

She'd stay out of his way for the rest of the night.

I had just gotten in bed, and next thing I know, he comes strolling in the room and wants to have sex.

And I said, "No.

No, we're not having sex." And he starts in on me like, "Well, we are married, aren't we?" And then he starts saying, "This is not up for negotiation." I can remember a flood of adrenaline going through my body, like, "Oh my God, what is happening?" I'm not able to talk my way out of it.

He's 220 pounds.

I was 120 pounds.

I couldn't hurt him if I tried, whereas he could kill me.

Why do you want to share your story?