I'll say a couple things

and please add to it because I think I'll probably not say all of them.

But I think the first thing is what you said.

It's giving them a language around it.

So we started even just calling their genitalia what that was, right? Right.

There wasn't shame around their body parts, not shame around their body.

Even saying all the time, like, hey, our bodies are good.

What do you say to that person? Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know.

At 11 years old, it became this secret, hidden sin, this hidden struggle.

I loved Jesus.

I was actually saved at seven years old.

My dad was in ministry full time, and my parents loved the Lord.

And so it was really hard to understand why I'm still struggling.

What do you suggest? How do they get help together? How do they get help separately? What do you do and what you guys do?

[laughs]

But because, selfishly.

But I just knew, like, I'm g- I'm changing.

Like, if you choose to stay, I'm changing.

And I know it's not perfect, and I know that at this point probably I, it had been like I, my journey was like, oh, I went three months of never looking at porn, and then I struggled and I relapsed.

Then I went six months and then I relapsed.

And, and it was like longer stints.

Mm.

Mm.

You know, moments that we thought would bring us together.

I'll never forget coming home one day from therapy and being so excited to tell Charity this epiphany that I had with my counselor.

I was like, "Man, she's gonna wanna know this," right? She's, she's my partner.

Like, she's gonna wanna understand that I just connected my sexual brokenness to my childhood brokenness and some father wound issues.

And I come home, and I'm just oblivious, right? We don't have, we've never been taught how to have healthy communication.

We don't know how to have boundary on communication.

Post-traumatic growth is bringing dead into life, new birth, and allowing God to bring something beautiful out of it where you become somebody so-

Maybe give us a little bit of your story.

Yeah, I can start and jump in wherever you want.

So basically my struggle with pornography started really young at 11 years old when I first was exposed and it just became my major coping mechanism.

Like I found that instead of coping with fear, isolation, anxiety, Any kind of negative emotion, I could run over here and it would take away that pain or that worry, that fear, whatever it was.

And so, and then, you know, you compound that with the shame and I can't tell anybody.

I can't really let people know that this is what I'm doing.

So that just goes throughout my life of junior high, high school.

What are his next steps in the next kind of 24 hours? Like what does he need to do now to kind of navigate that?