Mm-hmm

... it's really this practice with the nervous system stuff of trying to notice, okay, I'm, I'm moving out of my window of tolerance.

And for people in the beginning, it's like that might happen sort of immediately.

And you, you slowly start being like, "Okay, how do I ground back into safety?" And the more that you do that, the more that you can begin to expand your window of tolerance and spend more time in safety.

But you have to be realistic and realize that you are going to be flying out, and it's, it's more of a harm reduction approach, where when you're flying out, you wanna decrease the amount of damage that you're doing in your relationships and in your life.

Um, and you want to be increasing the amount of time that you can spend feeling safe as much as you possibly can.

I really recommend having a therapist.

But when they've got a need that almost goes completely against what their partner's need is, and it feels as though this is unsolvable and neither of them can get their needs met without the other person sacrificing or compromising too much What do we do in that situation?