...you're here for.

Well, the, the nice thing about my job, I've been working in, um, public schools in San Francisco for more than 20 years, and the nice thing about that job is that I've been able to teach and work with thousands of students.

So I, I have seen a lot of different types of boys, a lot of different types of kids, and been able to build relationships with them and get to know them, and really see some commonalities that don't always fit with stereotypes.

I think a lot of people have some kind of fear or worry about teenagers, and, um, I always like to remind people, like, teenagers can be really fun.

They can be really enjoyable to spend time with.

They're hilarious, and that they're often, you know, they, they really love fairness.

They love to learn about the world.

when you are navigating this in the day-to-day, how are you seeing, like, desire for power dynamics and control playing out? Do you see it that like, guess it's just a human thing, like everyone would like to have some power and control, and that helps them feel safe, or were you seeing it in different ways in your boys versus girls or across genders?

So when boys sort of put on this armor that you talk about and kind of shut down, how does it affect them, their mental health, and their development when they do that and the parents just don't have these conversations with them?

Well, boys are really struggling right now, and we see this, um, in data playing out, but we also s- hear this in the stories that boys told us.

For our book, we had a panel of over 80 boys who answered questions about each of the chapters in our book.

Um, but had, they had some, um, themes that they came, that came up over and over again with these boys, and they said that they felt like they wanted their, the adults in their lives to know, know them in a closer way.

They wanted the adults in their lives to be closer with them.

They wanted the adults in their lives to know who they really were and to recognize how they were changing and growing up as they went through their adolescent years.

Um, and there, I think there's a real space for adults to keep those avenues of conversation going.

Well, I'm just curious, you know, as we wrap up now, um, if you c- if we could go to both of you to just give us your sense, when you conducted the research for this book, was there something that stood out to you in the process that surprised you?

How are you seeing this loneliness epidemic emerge?

This is an issue I'm really concerned about.

Uh, and I see...

I work with middle and high school boys in San Francisco public schools, and a lot of them, a lot of them just don't have a lot of close friends.

They feel like they're looking often for both peers to connect with and adults to connect with, and looking for connections beyond surface level.

But that is one thing that I really see is people feel lonely.

We've seen a big decrease in the amount of time that young people spend hanging out, um, and we've seen a decrease in the amount of dating that young people do.

So I feel like this is the perfect segue to ask you, I mean, what are you seeing when you work with young people through that program?