Right.

You can mark the beginning and the end.

It's human nature, right? We're impatient.

We, we want that delineation, even, like, visually.

Like, we're real- we really like...

And I, and I think big, bold transformation is helpful.

But if you think about identity, Daryl Bem, a psychologist, founded something called self-perception theory, which says, like, how do, how do we know who we are? How do we decide who we are? When things are unsure, and we're not feeling confident, and we're feeling just lost in life, how do, how do we decide who we are? Well, the answer is self-perception theory, which basically says that you learn and decide who you are by observing yourself as if you were observing someone else.

So when someone does wanna start being more intentional with the self-talk, what shifts do they typically see first when they start changing on how they show up day to day?

Like, how do you work through that type of thing?

Yeah, for sure.

Well, I think there's a, a, a couple of different things.

I mean, for me, after a breakup, you know, there's all kinds of things that you're gonna go through.

You're gonna go through wanting to find closure to help close that door so that you can open up another door.

You're gonna go through, you know, wh- whatever the five stages of, like, denial and anger and all, and all that kind of stuff.

I don't even know.

What do you say to people in this mindset?

Is there something that you're not sure you'd be good at? If you're ever not sure, try turning to silence, letting the body be still, stiller than you think it can be, quiet enough to notice the movements of the heart, using silence and stillness as opportunities for the answers to come to you.

The streets of Shanghai are busy and humid in the summer.

The smell of cars, sweat, dust, and spices hangs in the air.

It's an onslaught on my senses, but I've only got one thing on my mind right now: food.

Near my apartment, there's a bright cafeteria-style restaurant that smells delicious.

Through the front window, my eyes scan the steaming hot dishes.

My mouth waters.

A skill worth cultivating.

And I guess the most important thing, and maybe put this at the top, uh, where your work, uh, inspires people or, or where your work...... helps people live a, a, a better life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just started with that specifically because that's how it came from my life personally, is like, the aim of my work is very simple.

It's to help people be more optimistic, which is a goal that, who wouldn't wanna be more optimistic, right? We all have things that are painful, that feel confusing.

Who wouldn't wanna be able to live amidst that and say, "Ah, it's all good.

I still believe good things can happen"? So that's my goal, and that's a v- a vague, ambitious goal, of course.

Uh, h- how do we find mindfulness in, in our busy world?

Mm-hmm.

... and like, these things.

Like, the ultimate way to see if someone is doing the work is how humble have they become as a result of their work? Hopefully so it's unearthed the fact that they don't know a whole lot.

And to me, not to sound noble, but I'm very much in that space, the more that I do this thing, mindfulness certainly is a muscle, I've done hundreds of podcast episodes, thousands of book, of quotes and pages.

Like if, if anything, it's just made me realize how much I don't know, uh, which is a beautiful thing though.

That is a beautiful thing.

It has shown me the space that I can fill with clarity, and then introduce another space that I could do that with.

Mm-hmm.