How have you seen that in terms of your own work?

Yeah, so I think that a lot of times what happens is the problem that we think that we're trying to answer is... participation, for example.

I can't get my kids to show up to these governance meetings, these retreats or whatever, or communication, things like that.

But there's an underlying issue that we're missing.

So we're seeing that they're not showing up and we're trying to solve for that by saying, even I've had parents say to me, well, what if I pay them to show up? okay, maybe they're going to show up if you pay them to show up.

But is that really getting at what some of the underlying identity-based issues are? Are they not showing up because they don't feel comfortable? Because they're not confident that they're going to sound smart and they think they're supposed to? Are they not showing up because they are worried about disappointing someone? Are they not showing up because...

they are having a hard time with comfort with wealth and they don't know how to navigate being an inheritor and knowing, I see this a lot, there are a lot of young people that there's a lot going on in the world and have a lot of, feel uncomfortable with the wealth that they're inheriting.

So what can we be doing as advisors to avoid projecting what we would be doing and taking their choices for them?