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Brian Simpson

Brian Simpson

Comedian and podcaster

Sep 5, 2026

speaker_4UNKNOWN
45:24
Oh, okay.
45:25
Was like every, every bucket pull was either a great interview or a great comic overall.
45:28
That was a good one, man.
45:30
So glad Grant caught up, too, man.
45:31
I fuckin'- Oh, Grant wa- ... love Grant so much.
45:33
Grant killed ... 'Cause I see Grant all the time but I don't know, I ain't know he was that funny.
45:36
Yeah, he's funny.
speaker_38UNKNOWN
48:41
You gotta have a disguise for Superman
65:13
That very same thing? No, but sh- people that don't have children?
65:17
No, no, no.
65:17
It, it ...
65:18
She was talking more along the lines of, like, of what, of, like, cancel culture and what it's borne out of.
65:27
Um, it basically like defining yourself ...
65:30
She called it, like, slave morality, or master, master-slave morality, where she was saying, like, you, the, the ruling class traditionally defines themselves as, like, the way they behave as good and just.
65:44
Like, you know, things like being beautiful and being successful, and those are ...

12 MINS LATER

77:24
The, mm.
11:33
[laughs]
11:33
But I, I feel like if you booked it but you ain't paid for nothing yet, you just kind of wrote it down.
11:37
You ain't really... [laughs]

53 MINS LATER

65:05
Do you, are you scared of porta potties, Brian Simpson?
65:07
I don't fuck with them.
65:08
I, we used to, we used to, when I was deployed, we would f- we would, like, dip the whole roll of toilet paper to make a little pile so the blue water didn't splash up on-
103:25
But you can't get that money out.
103:26
It's...
103:27
So here's how they get you.
103:29
So they get you either way.
103:30
So if, if you do...
103:31
So the, the, the, the ultimate plan is to lull you into goingLike, they want you to l- they want you to log on every day and see that n- m- number going up and going, "Oh, shit, I'm gonna put my money in there so, so I can make even more money." Right? That's the ultimate plan.
103:46
But if you, even if you got suspicious and you like, "I wanna take my money out," well, they go, "Okay.

11 MINS LATER

114:22
Mm.
7:17
[laughs]
7:17
Yeah.
7:17
And he just kept fucking me up and... 'Cause I didn't, I was scared to hurt him, and he didn't give a fuck about me.
7:23
And I got my ass whooped, and then, and then when it was finally all over, I was like, "Ha." And I went to the vending machine, and I, [laughs] and I fucking opened the Snicker bar, and I was like...
7:31
And my coach came over, he was like, "What the fuck are you doing?" You know, I was like, "Uh, well, the tournament's over." He was like, "You missed weight and you gonna come over here and g- eat snacks?" And it, and it, and it was, and I was one of them kids where like I was just defiant.
7:43
And I was like, "Fuck you."

1 HR 33 MINS LATER

100:17
Oh.
100:17
And it, it got racial.
speaker_7UNKNOWN
7:52
[laughs]
7:54
It's funny how he say he never been a crackhead, but he look like they could send him undercover with crackheads.

29 MINS LATER

37:09
[laughs]
37:10
They gonna be...
37:10
He'll introduce her to shea butter, and he'll, he'll take her down to the bingo hall.
59:30
That's true
59:30
...
59:31
even when you... 'Cause y- you know what's so funny is I think a lot of people assume that a, that most of the, like, homeless people on the street, um, are homeless because they got a drug, they had a drug problem.
59:42
But it's usually the other way around.
59:43
They usually are fine when they hit the street, and they, they start using drugs.
59:47
'Cause, like, what else the fuck you gonna do? Where, where else you gonna get happiness from? You not-

58 MINS LATER

117:45
They were like, "Ah." It looked just like a person.
117:47
I went and saw that, I, my family went and saw that, and I went and saw another, a different movie, uh.

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