Yeah

... for a long time, I was like, "Well, I guess now it's possible to, like, get that call at any time about anybody that you care about and love." And so I've done a lot of work with that.

But then what's interesting is the second pregnancy, I was pregnant and seeing a s- a reproductive psychiatrist because I was dealing with a crazy amount of depression during that pregnancy.

And this was, I don't know, seven years later? I don't know the math.

But it was a quite a bit of time after Matt had passed away.

And I'm sitting there, and I'm looking at her, and I'm like, "Okay, this is everything I want.

I have zero, there's zero question that I want this baby.

You probably just educated so many people that that even existed and is possible.

That is true.

Young energy.

And speaking of young, young energy, okay, so what are you inviting into this decade, and what are you leaving behind? And it can be something that you had, like, once had in your 20s, like a point of, a, a perspective, or just like a joie de vivre-

Yeah.

But I will say I don't...

It was totally...

It was not a conscious thing, but I did notice, and I only just turned 40 in January, and I'm sorry I'm bringing this...

I'm making all this all about me.

Um, and that's where I really think we can take the shame out of, of that because I'm sure the two of you can think of times when you just didn't have the capacity to be there for others because of what you were going through.

Yeah.

I mean, I think that her just expressing that exact sentiment to the people in her life is gonna be a really beneficial thing for everyone.

It's like friendship is about transparency and honesty, and if she just goes to these people and says, "I wanna be here for you, and I feel shame because I don't have the bandwidth all the time, and I struggle with this thing," and, you know, maybe it's just opening up the conversation to say, "Do you feel like I'm always too overwhelmed with what's going on in my life? Do...

Am I showing up in ways that I'm just not even recognizing? How can I show up in ways that don't, don't take so much energy?" Also, you have to look at the people in your life and your friendships, and I'm sure you've gone through this, Jamie, we all have, where sometimes people require too much from you.

Sometimes there's friendships where you are left feeling guilty because you have not met an expectation that someone has set for you, and sometimes it's not the healthiest relationship if people have sky-high expectations for you, no matter who you are.

So it's like if somebody hears that f- sentiment in your email and they don't come back with a loving and gentle and thoughtful, honest answer and instead just tell you all the ways in which you failed them, then I think that that's really speaks more to who you have in your life as opposed to what you're doing with the people in your life.

Mm-hmm.