Hey, H-Town Diva Comedy, what you got sent to HR for?

Okay.

So I worked at a hospital.

I used to be an administrative assistant at a very prestigious hospital.

And so the doctors was moving to a different side of the, uh, hospital.

And all of them, some of the sisters had to move their desks.

Unbeknownst to me, one of the, uh, the nurses' admin, she didn't wanna move her desk.

I, I was always shocked that Fox just didn't get into the late night game.

Yeah

... you f- you feel alone.

Or the NWA situation, um- I had to wait w- and that's a, uh, patience was the lesson there.

'Cause at first they fought me, "You can't do NWA." And I was mad because eventually the group broke up and I had to do Dre and Ice Cube and Eazy separately.

And that's what God meant for it to be, I guess.

But- Mm ... initially I wanted to do NWA and Paramount...

I wasn't big enough, successful enough yet to say, "I'm doing it," you know? Mm.

That's right.

Nightline."

Yeah.

Um, the phone rings and it's Magic's best friend, Lon Rosen, and Lon Rosen says, "You're, you're at home, right?" 'Cause somebody had gotten me on the phone for Lon.

He says, "You're at home?" I said, "Yeah." He says, "Stay right there, I'll call you back." And I said, "No, I gotta go to Paramount.

I'm late.

So call me at Paramount." He says, "Arsenio..." And, and he never says my name, [laughs] you know? He said, "Arsenio, stay right there.

Earvin'll call you right back." And so I stand beside my bed, phone's on this, landline, on the nightstand, and then the phone rings.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

And, uh, Sammy comes to the door.

And then I have him on the talk show later.

And of course he has cancer.

Mm.

But he sings anyway.

And I don't want to give away everything, but that story conjured up so many emotions.

Mm-hmm.

... of the Black folks thought you were, it was too white.

Yeah.

It was a complicated balance.

I was the Walenda of late night.

I wanted to do the show that I dreamed of as a kid.

When I would watch television, I could watch a talk show, and it might be a month before I saw a Black person.

And finally, hey, there's Ray Charles, you know? You know, Paramount used to battle because, like, for instance, I said to them, "Okay, I just met a guy named Ice Cube.

Really?

Let's listen.

This is my show.

[audience cheering] This is my show.

You understand? This is my show.

This is my show, man.

You think, you think I haven't had somebody on the show because they're gay? What's wrong with you, man? I'm Black.

[audience cheering] I'm Black, man.

And what do you think it was about your stage that made Black men in particular feel free?

That's so funny.

I took him to an after-hours joint once.

I talk about that in the book.

Uh, 'cause he was very interested in what people listen to and what moves people in clubs.

And I told him about an after-hours joint down the way south of Wilshire that was in a lady's house, and you have put- pit bulls and, and a fence, and they let you in.

They lock the chain back, bring you to the back, and, um, you know, you put money on the counter, and they put your liquor in a solo cup.

You know, not a legal place.

But it takes a very specific type of person to be like a jazz fan that really enjoys listening to jazz.

I don't have anything in front of me, but this part of my ch- the chapter in my life is over."

You know, I remember always thinking out my life, and there were times when I went to my business manager and I said, "I'm getting out of this, man.

I'm sick of it.

I'm, I'm sick of trying to do the right thing and trying to create something that I didn't have when I was a child and getting nothing but criticism from everybody." And he would tell me to stay in it, "Hold on.

This ain't a time to leave.

Plus, you got a contract." And, um, but I do remember this moment when I felt, okay, I'm nearing the end of a contract when I can leave, about year five or six, uh, and I think I realized I can't go any higher.

I don't do the kind of show that can be at a network because I refuse to not let my show be a showcase for my culture first and for the world second.

And what do you think it was about your stage that made Black men in particular feel free?

And so you said, "That kid's got it."

Yeah.

And, and you know, I thought I lost my touch for picking talent, because I said, "He's gonna be the next Michael Jackson.

This guy's gonna be big." And then I didn't hear from him for a while.

And you have no idea how happy I was when I was sitting in the car and I heard, "24 karat magic," and-

Aw.

And I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "Yeah, when, when it was simple and I had a place like this." And it taught me a little something.

You know, uh, the things you buy, the material things, that's not happiness.

So was that a concerted thing for you to say, I respect, I grew up loving The Tonight Show and I respect that, but I want to do something a little different.

Absolutely.

As a matter of fact, I used to love to go to lunch with people I idolized because that was college for me to sit with Larry King or to sit with Don Cornelius.

And I remember somebody saying to me.

Get your own audience.

As a matter of fact, Ed McMahon told me, he said, Johnny likes you.

And I'm like, really? Because at that time I was hosting for Joan Rivers and she had quit.

And you take him out.

I, I was always shocked that Fox just didn't get into the late night game.

Um, it's funny.

I just sat with Conan O'Brien, and he told me a cool story.

He says he was in a, a lunch room, a cafeteria at Fox, and he says, "You were very nice to me.

You, you, you won't remember me, but I was getting coffee and you showed me where all the stuff was." What I didn't realize is while I was taking over for Joan Rivers and doing The Late Show, 'cause sh- she eventually got fired-

Mm.

"I want more books in the hands of Nubian people." What you did calling me was so important.

And to do it with you, and that's what I told my publicist.

It's the first music chart that pays artists.

Did, so that one day I could apply all those things.

Mm.

I knew who I was.

I, I would go see Al Green 'cause my mother loved Al Green and I would take her.

But I was there early, when the house lights were still on and everybody was filing in, and there was a stand-up comic on the stage.

'Cause I, I knew who I was.

Download it for free.

Yeah.

"How about if the people you meet in America are played by Eddie?" And I was sitting there saying, "Uh, could I get y'all a drink?" [laughter] And, uh, and it's Eddie that said, "Hey, I saw Arsenio do stand-up on this HBO thing, and, uh, he does this thing about Jesse Jackson.

I know he can do a great preacher, and we can come up with some barbers." And Eddie came up with, with, uh, the specific characters.

And I just, uh, sat there shaking, 'cause I'm like, "I gotta do characters with Eddie Murphy." That's like saying, you know, uh, "Check Jordan." [laughter] You know?

Uh-

Yeah.

I, I, I don't think they realize how important truth is in the long run.

You know? I- in that moment, it's like, [laughs] "We beat you." But they don't realize I'm a human being.