absolutely.

So that's the first thing that stands out to me is that, you know, I was kind of struck by how intense that comes through in the essay and how, you know, I've changed a little bit since then on that.

The other thing is that the really big change in my life is that I was not yet a mother when I wrote that.

And I actually became pregnant with my daughter pretty shortly after I wrote that essay.

And so, of course, becoming a mother is a major paradigm shift no matter what.

And it was really, you know, especially so for me because for a long time after this happened, I was kind of unsettled about whether I would ever be a mother or have children because there was part of me that did think like, wow, you know, is it, is it irresponsible to have a child and bring them into the world with, you know, the burden of this history? But again, as I've said, I kind of tempered my thoughts on that a little bit.

That probably is a bit of an extreme position to take when having a child could be something that's really joyful and fulfilling to me.

So when you look back on the years, all the years you spent holding that privately, how did it impact you emotionally? And in what ways has it shaped who you are, your identity, your relationships, and your sense of trust in yourself and the world around you?