Yeah.

Yeah, and there's so many different kind of stories I could relate to that.

But one thing that keeps popping up is when you have a daughter, how confronting that is.

And I say confronting, maybe I'm using the wrong word, but You've got this girl who is in essence part of you and she's growing, she's exploring herself and she's finding out who she is in the world.

But there's also this reflection of yourself and the younger part of you back.

And there's this innocence and curiosity and future ahead for her.

And so when you have those moments and you look at, well, certainly for me, when I look at my daughter, there's also the many missed opportunities or the choices that I made that made my life go in that direction instead of that direction.

How do we manage that in relationships, whether a friendship or a long-term romantic partnership?

So how do you help people channel this?

And well, I love using Ayurveda actually, the very basics of it in terms of the elements and how it's energy moving through us.

And the big thing when I'm working with clients is for them to understand themselves.

So when they understand themselves, they'll understand the triggers, they'll understand the values that get triggered you know so let's say for example integrity is one of my values and i see somebody not working within my expectation of what integrity is that's likely to have a trigger in me if i don't know myself then a reactive way of expressing that anger might be to gossip to have a go at them to sabotage them to really go under the line in terms of my behavior Whereas if I understand that integrity is a value of mine, but I also understand that people don't have the same values as me, I can then create a gap between the stimulus and my response.

So the information comes in instead of getting triggered straight away and reacting in a childish way or in a way that is unevolved and which then will often lead to me looking like I'm the one in the wrong.

You take a step back, you create that distance between the trigger and the response, and then you ask yourself, what's a more helpful way of dealing with the situation in hand but you can only do that if one you know who you are as a person and that means knowing what you value and what's important to you and then two being present enough to catch yourself in those moments where you are being reactive So when I'm working with clients, I want first for them to understand themselves as a human, two, to understand the physiology and what happens when we get triggered and for them to be able to very quickly dial themselves back.

And three, to use the concepts of Ayurveda and the elements so that they can kind of see when they're leaning more towards overplaying.

So I think with healthy rage we are looking at understanding how we're feeling and then putting in those boundaries speaking up for yourself like these are all ways that you can release and deal with that sort of you know internal rage we're calling it it doesn't mean that you're going out and lashing out is there any other ways that you can think of is like a healthy way that we can deal with the feelings of rage