What does a boundary look like in the body so that it doesn't register, let's say, as abandonment?

Boundaries are tough for a lot of people, myself included.

I'm not immune to any of this stuff.

I think where a lot of people get boundaries mixed up is they often think boundaries are what the other person's going to do, right? My boundary is you're not going to drink anymore, right? My boundary is whatever it is, right? And it's usually focused outward.

And whenever I'm working with someone on codependency, we're always shifting it back to self, right? That connection to self.

So boundary is about what I'm going to do if this continues, right? It's about self-compassion.

It's about, okay, if you continue to do this, this is what I'm going to do to take care of myself.

Can you tell my listeners what that is?

Um, is there a difference between, like, with love addiction specifically, right? Do most love addicts tend to be in relationships or situationships with people who are unavailable?

Yeah.

Um, well, what happens is on a very unconscious level, some, these, this conditioning, these patterns play out, um, right beneath the veil of consciousness.

That's not what they really want.

Consciously they would tell you they want, you know, a good relationship and a, and a partner who's available for them.

But, um, they're seeking what's familiar and, and again, that corrective experience.

So the way their neurochemistry fires when they're kind of over-performing to make this person stay or trying to be a better just to g- get that validation.

Yeah.